Forcing Love: The Gameshow!
by LostFairy24
Summary: Tired of the same old dating gameshows? Well then you'll LOVE this one! BTW I'm Magic24/LostFairy24, so don't get confused! Join us as 7 women from the Zelda series fight for Link's heart doing things such as riding pigs! R+R!!!
1. Madness

* This is a game show story. It's not a rip-off of anyone's work, thank god no sueing! It's about the strive for wanting to date Link, Hero of time. There are six contestants: Malon, Marin, Ruto, Zelda, Saria and Nabooru. They are sent to mine and konitsu's little world where only we know where it is.... These are not real people, there are cameras, and we will be making it funny every step of the way. So without further adue, I, Magic24, and my friend konitsu bring you: Forcing Love!!!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Link, or any other Zelda characters. We would like to purchase Link though. We DO own this show in all it's sarcastic glory, so no saying we ripped people off please!  
  
~~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~~  
  
*You enter a dark eerie room with an audience, everything is black. You see two figuers walk onto the stage....*  
  
Konitsu: *Dressed in black bell bottoms and a silver shirt. She waves, gets strange looks...* Er, ya, I wandered out of the Sailor Moon section for a bit........introducing.....  
  
Magic24: *Dressed in a navy blue tank with knee-high jeans. Waves, also gets strange looks...* I'm new! Anyway, as we were saying, introducing..... "Forcing Love"!!!!!!  
  
*Audience stares blankly at them...*  
  
Magic24: Tough croud!  
  
Konitsu: Eer, this is a game show, about who's gonna get a chance to date Link!  
  
Nerio (aka Konitsu's unwilling faerie): I WANT TO GO HOME!!!  
  
Magic24: Oh hush up! Anyway, there are six contestants trying to win a date with the ever so dreamy Hero of Time..Link! Only one will win, and we can kick one out at a time, like Survivor, only not.  
  
Konitsu: *Shuves Nerio in a sock, nuff' said* So now that that's over, lets introduce our players!!!  
  
Konitsu: MARIN!!!  
  
*Marin walks in, looks around confused, waves and sits down*  
  
Magic24: Hi Marin, sorry to get you away from Koholint on such short notice...  
  
Marin: It's Ok, I've never seen such places as this!  
  
Magic24: Ok.... MALON!!!  
  
*Comes out, gives a "What the heck!" look at Marin, and sits down*  
  
Konitsu: Oh my god twins!  
  
Malon: I'm not a twin! I swear! She's a clone or something...  
  
Marin: Please, your obviously a spy trying to confuse people!  
  
Magic24: Your both wrong, Nintendo ran out of ideas, so they just used the same person over and over and over....  
  
Konitsu: I knew that! I DID! Ok.... ZELDA!!!  
  
*Zelda walks out with nose held high and doesn't ecknowledge us folk on the stage as well*  
  
Magic24: Uhh, hi Zelda!  
  
Zelda: That's Princess Zelda to you!  
  
Konitsu: We can call you anything we want if we want to, like Princess Poo or....  
  
Zelda: Ug, fine, call me Zelda!  
  
Magic24: I'll deal with her later.... *Blinks* RUTO!!!  
  
*Ruto comes out, hops up and down, then sits*  
  
Konitsu: oookkkkk....  
  
Konitsu: SARIA!!!  
  
*Saria comes out and shakes hands with Magic24 and Konitsu, also waves at audience*  
  
Konitsu: Hey Saria!  
  
Nerio: *From sock* MELP! MELP!!!  
  
Saria: *Gives disgusted look* Are you abusing your faerie? Cause if you are....  
  
Konitsu: Eer, why....NO! *Hides behind Magic24*  
  
Magic24: *Hits sock* Noooo, the faerie is taking a nap....  
  
Saria: Oh, OK.  
  
Magic24:........ Yeah....... NABOORU!!!  
  
*Nabooru comes out, Konitsu stares longingly at her sythe*  
  
Konitsu: I want that pointy thing!!!  
  
Magic24: Yeah! Those are really cool Nabooru, where'd ya get it?  
  
Nabooru: Konitsu should know, she was there purchasing explosives the other day.....  
  
Konitsu: *Hides reciept from "Weapons R' Us* What ever do you mean?  
  
Magic24: *Glances at Konitsu* AND OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST, THE ONE WHICH THIS GAMESHOW IS BASED UPON, PLEASE WELCOME, LINK!!!!  
  
*Audience screams as he comes out, and Konitsu and Magic24 are held back until he's in his seat*  
  
Magic24: *Drooling* Eeer, and there you have it! Our guests for our show!!!  
  
Konitsu: *After hooking something under Zelda's seat* Erm, YUP! Hi Link....  
  
Link: Wait, where am I?  
  
Magic24: In mine and Konitsu's own world....  
  
Konitsu: Yeah, hehehe, and you can't go back until we say!  
  
Link: And this is a show?  
  
Magic24: Duh  
  
Link: What's it about?  
  
Konitsu: *Whispers* Cute but stupid...  
  
Magic24: *Sighs* It's a dating show. *Bonks Konitsu on the head*  
  
Konitsu: OW! Hey does that mean me and Linky-boy can....  
  
Magic24: 0.0 NO!!! Not for us, for the contestants! *Looks at Link dreamily*  
  
Konitsu: Poo....but....FINE!! *Stomps off, then comes back holding an ebony haired man, who is quickly hauled off by security* .....DOUBLE POO!!!!  
  
Magic24: Konitsu please...  
  
*After a minute, the show is kicking into the other girls*  
  
Malon: REALLY! I get to date Link!  
  
Marin: Nu uh, ME!!!  
  
Zelda: PLEASE! I'm the most worthy to even hold his hand!  
  
Saria: I think he's a bit old for me...  
  
Nabooru: I think he's saucy....  
  
*Marin pounces on Zelda resulting in a cat fight*  
  
Magic24: YOUR ALL WRONG, IT'S ME!!! Oops, forgot....hehe....  
  
Konitsu: *Watching fight* WOHOO! KICK HER ARSE!!!  
  
*Security comes out and separates the two*  
  
Konitsu: But...Zelda...then.... I WANT LINK!!! *Starts crying anime style*  
  
Magic24: *Pats Konitsu on the back* There there, we all want Link... um... Let's get into the rules, shall we?  
  
Link: Man I must be hot!  
  
Konitsu: *Sniff* OK, rule time...  
  
Magic24: *Pulls out extremly long piece of paper with only a few scribbles on it* AHEM! Rule numero uno: No fighting with each other unless it's part of the "Events"  
  
*Ruto is staring at Link with glaze over her eyes and foam on the mouth*  
  
Konitsu: MEDICS! We have a case of Link-itis again!!!  
  
Link: 3rd time this week!  
  
*Ruto is revived and blindfolded*  
  
Konitsu: *Glares at Marin and Zelda, then winks at Marin and gestures under Zelda's stool* Nember zwei: No swearing unless we say so, or we do it... *Smiles sheepishly*  
  
Magic24: *Smiles at Link* Nember three: No hog tying Link to a chair and taking him away from the game!  
  
Konitsu: I swear it wasn't me! *Coughs*  
  
Link: WHAT! I should hope not!!!  
  
Konitsu: Number four, no dissin' the hostesses folks!!!  
  
Magic24: YEAH! I like that rule! Number five, no cheating on any of the events!  
  
Zelda: *Has obviously had enough* I don't have to take this garbage! I'm the freaking Princess of Hyrule!!!  
  
Nerio: *Somehow free* Can it blondie!  
  
Konitsu: Rule number six: You win one, only one date with Link, then he's -ours- unless I say different!  
  
Magic24: *Swears under breath* Number seven: If yo break any of the rules you get booted off this world with no Link!  
  
Konitsu: Unless I say different....Number eight: Konitsu can do anything she wants, even kidnap Linky-boy!!!  
  
Magic24: Number nine: Rule number eight expired yesterday!  
  
Konitsu: Rule number ten! RULE NUMBER EIGHT NEVER EXPIRES!!!  
  
Link: Sheesh, hey, how did I get here?  
  
Nerio: *Sighs* They *Points at the arguing Konitsu and Magic24* want you, they do to! *Points at camera and audience*  
  
Konitsu: Also the magic portal...  
  
Magic24: Aaaannnnyyywaaayyy, you can't kidnap Link -yet- because then there would be no show! AHEM! Rule number eleven: There will be events to determine who is worthy of Link. Whoever does the worst at them gets booted off by us or our fans, good at them or not!  
  
Ruto: What kind of events?  
  
Konitsu: This and that....  
  
Nerio: MASHED POTATO WRESTLING!!!  
  
Konitsu: Can me and Link wrestle???  
  
Link: I don't usually wrestle....  
  
Magic24: WE AREN'T IN THIS GAME!!!  
  
Konitsu: Practice wrestle?  
  
Magic24: No!  
  
Konitsu: AWW!!! Number twelve: We're the judges, and the fans too, so you'll be well advised to be nice to us!  
  
Magic24: Last rule is nobody can even TRY to get out of this place!  
  
Link: Do I participate?  
  
Konitsu: NOPE! You sit with me and Magic the whoollleeee time!!!  
  
Link: Help!  
  
Magic24: *Pulls Konitsu off him* STOP IT YOUR SCARING PEOPLE!!!  
  
Link: *Searching himself for Master Sword, only to find it missing* Ummm, nothing.  
  
Konitsu: FARORE'S WIND I WANNA!  
  
Ruto: LIIIIIINK! I LOVE YOU AND I'LL WIN FOR YOU!!!  
  
Link: Oh goddess....  
  
Konitsu: *Weilds axe and runs at Ruto* YAHHH!!!!  
  
Magic24: OK! Enough of that! Let's tell them about the first event, shall we Konitsu? *Pulls Konitsu next to her*  
  
Konitsu: *Sniffles and puts axe away* Mashed Potato wrestling???  
  
Nerio: God what a hic...  
  
Malon: I love mashed potatoes!  
  
Marin: No -I- love mashed potatoes!  
  
*Give each other look before backing down*  
  
Magic24: WE ALL LOVE MASHED POTATOES! Ok, to the ring!  
  
*Everyone follow her to the ring*  
  
Konitsu: WOHOO!! *Grabs popcorn and plops down in her chair to watch* I missed the Potato Fest last year, this'll more than make up for it!  
  
Nerio: *Mumbling* You are the most back-country peron I've ever seen!  
  
Magic24: Konitsu and I will assign partners, whoever wins gets to stay here and not get booted off! That means three of you won't be leaving just yet... The others will be voted on by our fans, and then will leave. Whoever is the least popular gets off! Buh-Bye! SEE YA!!!  
  
Konitsu: I want to see Zelda get that spiffyidy little dress of hers dirty!!!  
  
Magic24:*Pulls Ruto and Malon next to each other* YOU WILL FIGHT!!!  
  
Konitsu: Your going down fish girl! *Starts jumping up and down*  
  
Malon: I have to fight a tuna?  
  
Ruto: I'M NOT A TUNA AND YOUR GONNA PAY FARM GIRL!!!  
  
Magic24: Enough! Zelda aaannnnddd Nabooru!!!  
  
Link: *Looks confused and pulls Konitsu back to her seat to ovoid flailing arms*  
  
Zelda: I am NOT fighting in potatoes, let along with her!  
  
Magic24: *pulls out knife* Wanna make something of it Princess?  
  
Konitsu: YOU'LL DO IT! *Pulls out Master Sword and attacks* AHH!!!  
  
Zelda: *Running* AHHH!! EVERYONE HERE IS CRAZY EXCEPT ME!  
  
Link: Uh hey, isn't that my sword?  
  
Saria: *Too busy laughing to say anything*  
  
*Nabooru pounces and pulls everyone off each other half laughing herself*  
  
Konitsu: FINE! Marin and Saria fight!  
  
Saria: I can't fight I'm too young!  
  
Malon: That's your excuse for everything!  
  
Magic24: *Plops down next to Link and puts away knife* Lets start with Malon and Ruto.  
  
Konitsu: *Sits on the other side of him* That's the way it goes! *Rings bell*  
  
*RING*  
  
*Malon jumps into the potatoes and Ruto does the same*  
  
Magic24: *Pulls out eye-glasses* Yup, this should be good!  
  
*Ruto attempts to cut Malon with her fins, but falls in Idaho's finest instant mashed potatoes instead*  
  
Konitsu: *Under umbrella with Link* Ohh, too bad!!!  
  
*Malon starts scratching at Ruto's fishy skin...*  
  
Ruto: ARG!!!  
  
Nerio: Go Ruto! Eep...  
  
Konitsu: *Shoves Nerio in another sock* We'll do the rooting here.  
  
*Ruto jabs Malon in the stomach and Malon falls in the potatoey goodness*  
  
Magic24: HAHAHAHAHA! *Is also under the umbrella with Link*  
  
Link: *Rather squished with a pained look on his face* Err, I personally want Malon to win...  
  
Magic24: Why is that Linky-boy?  
  
Konitsu: GOOD CHOICE! GET UP COW GIRL! GET OVER THERE AND BEAT THAT FISH STICK!  
  
*Malon recovers and upper-cuts Ruto in the jaw. Ruto falls to the mush and Malon pounces on her*  
  
Link: *Squints* Ohhh, Ruto drives me crazy.  
  
Konitsu: She drives -everyone- crazy!  
  
*Ruto gets back up and kicks Malon. Malon returns with a fist in Ruto's stomach. Ruto falls one last time and Malon is the victor*  
  
Saria: Cool!  
  
Nabooru: Well done!  
  
Konitsu: DIE FISH DIE! *Gets ready to jump on Ruto with a knife*  
  
Magic24: *Screaming like crazy* WOHOO! THAT WAS GREAT but....OH MY, KONITSU NO! SHE NEEDS TO LIVE!  
  
*Ruto gets up and runs out of the ring screaming also*  
  
Ruto: *Screaming* WHY IS SHE ALLOWED NEAR SHARP OBJECTS?  
  
Konitsu: *Sits back down* Poo, so who's next?  
  
Nerio: *From sock* LITTLE MISH PRISS!  
  
Link: *Sits back and grins* hehehehe...  
  
Magic24: ZELDA! NABOORU! In the ring please?  
  
Konitsu: *Has learned Link's personal space* So Link-sama, who do you think will win?  
  
Link: Sama?  
  
Magic24: I'm going to ring the bell....  
  
Nerio: *Free again* Sama-a Japanese suffix, put on a name of one deserving great respect.  
  
Magic24: I'm gonna ring it......  
  
Konitsu: Yes, see?  
  
*RING!*  
  
Link: *Sits back and watches fight wondering why the heck Konitsu called him sama...*  
  
*Zelda screams because her feet are dirty, while Nabooru lunges at her with her sythe*  
  
Zelda: AHH! I'm dirty! No NABOORU! You don't want to hurt the Princess do you?  
  
*Ummm, Zelda got hurt, bad.*  
  
Konitsu: That was fast, BLOOD!  
  
Nerio: MEDICS!  
  
Magic24: Enough! Jeez that was fast, and no killing either Nabooru!  
  
*Konitsu is cheering like crazy while Zelda is pulled into the Paramedics section.*  
  
Zelda: OW! I think I need a bath and some tissues and a drink and those little mints that you can chew and.....  
  
*Zelda drifts away*  
  
*Nabooru stands and bows triumphantly*  
  
Magic24: So Link, who do you think will get booted off?  
  
Link: I seriously don't know....Magic-chan....  
  
  
Konitsu: *Waves Japenese dictionary in front of Magic's face* I good teacher!  
  
Magic24: o.0??? Chan???  
  
Nerio: Chan- a suffix for a girl younger or the same age as you, also designates friendship or strong affection.  
  
Konitsu: See? I good teacher!  
  
Magic24: YOU LOVE ME?  
  
Link: No, girl, younger, FRIEND!  
  
Magic24: Oohhhh kay Link-chan!  
  
Konitsu: He called me Kon-chan earlier! Nerio does it too!  
  
Nerio: Your not Kon-chan right now Konitsu-baka!  
  
Konitsu: *Screams, then shoves Nerio in "The" sock*  
  
Magic24: Where are Marin and Saria?  
  
Link: *points* Over there...  
  
*Everyone looks at them, they're doing nothing*  
  
Marin: WHAT?  
  
Nerio: *From inside sock* Eer, Sar-chan, YOHOO? Faerie friend lady?  
  
*Saria ignores her and heads towards ring*  
  
Konitsu: Is she dead?  
  
Magic24: 0.0 ..... Don't know, lets start this thing!  
  
*RING*  
  
Konitsu: I don't know who to root for! Farore's Wind help whoever beats up a sage though...  
  
Magic24: Poor Malon and Nabooru...  
  
*Marin jumps into the mashed potatoes, and Saria easily fits through the ropes*  
  
Magic24: I think Marin has the advantage here...  
  
Link: *Mumbling* The ocarina Saria remember~  
  
Konitsu: *Nudges Link* Shoosh about that!  
  
Magic24: No cheating you two!  
  
Both: We're not!  
  
Magic24: *Glares at them* OK, go Saria!  
  
*Saria gets a slap from Marin, and falls into the now very mushy potatoes*  
  
Link, Konitsu, Nerio: THE OCARINA!  
  
*Saria pulls out a small sword and pokes Marin in the arm, a cut*  
  
Magic24: Are you deaf? OCARINA!!!  
  
Konitsu: Not yet, sheesh!  
  
*Saria looks confused, gets a punch, then pulls out ocarina*  
  
Link: That one!  
  
Magic24: There's more than one?  
  
Link: *Gives a "What are you stupid?" Look at Magic* Jeez...  
  
*Saria begins playing a haunting melody, which fills the ring with a green light*  
  
Marin: What the heck?  
  
Nerio: YAY!  
  
Magic24: Ohhh, sooo greeeeeen...  
  
Konitsu: Now the SWORD!  
  
*Saria pulls out sword and lunges at the now stupified Marin*  
  
Marin: AHHHH!!!  
  
*Marin is seriously hurt and the paramedics come for her*  
  
Magic24: OWW! That HAD to hurt!  
  
Link: Wohoo! Magic unite!  
  
Magic24: *Looks at Link* Ohhhhh kay....  
  
Konitsu: Go Saria! *Lightning flashes*  
  
Nerio: I thought you fixed that!  
  
Magic24: AHH!!! I hate lightning!!!  
  
Konitsu: Oops, sorry Magic, must have been that song...  
  
*Marin is carried to the paramedics station and Saria is applauded*  
  
All: YAY! WOHOO!!!  
  
Magic24: *Clinging to Link in fear of lightning* Umm, hi, eer, sorry...  
  
*Saria exits ring*  
  
Konitsu: *More lightning* That's what you get when you get the electrical chair!  
  
Magic24: AHHH! Wait, what electrical chair?  
  
Nerio: Just don't ask.......  
  
Konitsu: Hey, if I can aim this right I can hit..... *More lightning*  
  
Nerio: Erm, I thought you took care of that problem.....  
  
Magic24: OK, we have the three winners, lets line the up. NO KILLING!  
  
Link: I think that's a good idea.....  
  
Konitsu: What? Lining up or killing?  
  
Zelda: *Just back from paramedics* I HATE YOU AND I HATE THIS!!!  
  
Nerio: And we hate you too! *Swaps hand and more lightning*  
  
Magic24: Don't diss the hostesses or you'll meet a terrible fate!  
  
Zelda: What are you a fortune teller?  
  
Magic24: *Glares at Zelda* Onto lighter things, the winner don't get booted off today!!!!  
  
Konitsu: Poor Marin, oh well, I still have Saria and Malon and pointy-lady to root for!  
  
Link: Yeah.....  
  
Konitsu: But either Marin, Ruto, or Zelda gets "Booted off"  
  
*All cheer, then look sad for losers*  
  
Magic24: This is where the fans come in....  
  
*Marin is also back from medic's tent*  
  
Marin: It's up to YOU!  
  
Link: *Points at camera* Yeah you!  
  
Konitsu: Review or you could e-mail me or Magic24.....  
  
Magic24: Reviews are good, it lets us know if we're loved or not!  
  
Link: I know -I'm- loved!  
  
Konitsu: I need to finish my Sailor Moon fic...  
  
Magic24: *Slaps Link* And I need to write poetry....  
  
All:* Wave cheerily*  
  
Magic24: Next time, someone leaves the show, Link is full of himself, and can you say HYPER?  
  
Konitsu: More wrestling?  
  
Magic24: Eer, no.  
  
Link: OK, everyone has to review to vote for who you want gone, Ruto Marin or Zelda!  
  
Magic24: Yeah! And we also need to know to write a new chapter....  
  
Konitsu: So until next time, we all wave you goodbye on....  
  
All: FORCING LOVE!!!  
  
  
~~~~~~~End of Chapter one~~~~~~~  
  
  
That was it! How did ya like it? Please review, I can't stress that enough! This was my first fic, so any comments are good ones. Next time, things get crazy, hyper crazy. Link is as dreamy and cocky as ever. And someong already has to leave! *Waves bye bye* But that's up to you! Our fans, or not so much fans, either way! I love you whoever read this fic all the way through! Peace and equality!!! *Nobody has died during this episode of Forcing Love, just got hurt. And what the heck is under Zelda's chair???? 


	2. Mountain Dew Mayhem

* Oh no! Magic24 is back with her gameshow! Ahhh yes, my loverly gameshow about dating Link. Lets review, shall we. (I like saying that, shall we thing) OK, this is a dating gameshow about the yearn to want to date Link. Every week somebody gets thrown off. (Not in real time) The contestants are Malon, Marin, Zelda, Ruto, Saria, and Nabooru. Somebody will get thrown off today!(WAHOO) Thanx to all of you peoples votes! Alright, on with the show!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Zelda, so stop asking. PLEASE? We aren't rich!  
  
~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~  
  
Konitsu: We don't own Zelda, I OWN LINK! AND ISHIDA! AND YAMATO! AND CHIBA MAMORU!!!  
  
Magic24: AND I OWN ROSE, SO HAHA!  
  
Konitsu: I OWN NISSHOUKU!!! So :p :p DOUBLE RAZZ!!!  
  
Magic24: AND I OWN A PAIR OF SOCKS! Ummm...hehe....  
  
Konitsu: *Storms off and comes out pulling digi-stud Matt after her, needless to say, securtiy comes* WHERE CAN I GET A GOOD MAN AROUND HERE?  
  
Magic24: Don't know Konitsu, I wish I had one though.....HEY ARE WE ON???  
  
Konitsu: Umm, FORCING LOVE! The only show where someone -can't- get a man!  
  
Magic24: Not even US! And we're the freaking hostesses!  
  
Konitsu: *Pulls out long piece of paper* I need to kidnap: Mamo-chan, Yama-chan, Link-chan, Brendon Fraiser..  
  
Magic24: And all those hot guys on Temptation Island!  
  
Konitsu: Err, I didn't see that show Magic, I'm in Germania, REMEMBER?  
  
Nerio: You forgot to add somebody to your list... Ni-  
  
Magic24: Ohh yeah...  
  
Konitsu: *Stuffs Nerio in 'The Sock'* Nothing!  
  
Magic24: *Looks confused* Aannyywwaayy, we have some bad news *cough* somebody is leaving our show!!!  
  
Konitsu: *Dead pan* Oh yes, so tragic, I think I'm gonna cry...  
  
Magic24: *Tosses away fake tear* It was close between Zelda and Ruto...  
  
Nerio: *Sarcasm* Ever so sad...  
  
Konitsu: But you, the viewers voted, and-  
  
Marin: I'M LOVED!  
  
Nerio: You'll be well advised to shut up...  
  
Magic24: It's your call so..YAY! Let's get everyone out here!  
  
Konitsu: Oh ya, one second Magic, it has come to my attention that some people don't know who Marin is!  
  
Magic24: *GASP!* Well, I kinda knew that too but...  
  
Nerio: *Sadly* I know I know...  
  
Marin: HOW COULD THEY?  
  
Magic24: It's OK! I didn't know who you were for a long time too!  
  
Konitsu: Marin, is, loosly, Link's dream girl. She lived on the island on Koholint with the Wind Fish and a Giant Egg in the Gameboy version of Zelda. She's almost and exact replica of Malon. My theory is, Link loved Malon so much that she was portrayed in his dream as Marin.  
  
*Meanwhile, everyone walks on stage, Link lages behind*  
  
Magic24: Awww, Link! That is soooo sweet!  
  
Link: What? Whats sweet?  
  
Magic24: *Giggles* Nothing, nothing at all...  
  
Konitsu: Just my little love theory...  
  
Link: 0.o? What?  
  
Nerio: Eerrr, nothing.  
  
Magic24: *Laughs* NOTHING! Okay Okay, so who's getting booted off is...*DRUMROLL!!!*  
  
All: ZELDA!  
  
Konitsu: And we were -ever- so sad!  
  
Zelda: 0.0! WHAT! I can't get booted off! I'm the freaking Princess of Hyrule!  
  
Magic24: WE KNOW! YOU TOLD US!  
  
Nerio: Rules hon, You don't like it, take it up with the viewers...  
  
Konitsu: YA PRINCESS POO!  
  
Zelda: Well, I didn't want to stay, not with -that- lunatic. *Points at Konitsu*  
  
Magic24: Don't diss, it's not nice!  
  
Konitsu: Who me? Oh crap, I never got to test out my 'experiment'...  
  
Nerio: *Giggles* Hey Zellie, sit down a moment, me and Konitsu want to discuss something with you, you might not get booted off! *Giggles evily*  
  
Magic24: It's OK! BYE ZELDA! Your getting thrown into another demension.. Uhh, you guys?  
  
Link: Uh oh...  
  
Konitsu: NO NO! She -has- to sit down so we and 'discuss' something with her! *Wink wink*  
  
Magic24: Don't be too harsh, I have to show off my super-dooper-special-powers!!!  
  
Nerio: *Whispering* She -might- live after this... *Normal tone* Come on Princess, sit down.  
  
Zelda: I don't wanna, but I don't have a choice do I?  
  
Nerio: Not really...  
  
Magic24: *Whispering to Link* Cross your fingers!  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Magic24: She's gonna die! Have you -seen- how much Konitsu hates her?  
  
*Zelda walks over and sits down*  
  
Konitsu: Tay! -This- is what I wanted to show you! *Points finger under Zelda's chair, lightning sparks and the whole sha-bang blows up. Zelda is now roasted, toasted, and julian fried!* YAY! IT WORKED!  
  
Magic24: *Can't blink* AHH! THAT WAS SOO CLOSE!!  
  
Link: You can get off me now...  
  
Konitsu: Erm, sorry Magic-chan, I got a little carried away. *More lightning sparks and Konitsu doesn't look soory*  
  
Magic24: Umm, sorry Link. But now -I- can show off my magical powers!  
  
*Magic24 lifts up her arm and a black hole appears. Zelda, or what used to be of Zelda is now sucked up into nothingness. Magic claps at her success*  
  
Magic24: DID YA SEE THAT? RIGHT ON!  
  
Konitsu: YAHOO! *Does a little happy dance.*  
  
*Everybody looks dead white, and the are thinking about who's next to go...*  
  
Link: Oh my goddesses, you killed her!  
  
Nerio: *Tries to contain herself and giggles evily*  
  
Malon: That was wrong on so many levels, I hope I don't even get nominated...  
  
Konitsu: OH! My goddess is an anime/mange, I've never seen it though... FARORE'S WIND THAT WAS COOL!!!  
  
Nerio: Don't worry Malon, she -likes- you!  
  
Magic24: Don't mess up!  
  
Malon: Okay you guys...  
  
Ruto: *Blinks in disbelief* I WAS THAT CLOSE TO BEING FRIED FISH?  
  
Magic24: Yuperrie! But your still here, and that could only work once...  
  
Konitsu: Yup, and hopefully I'll have my bit of fun with you later! *Lightning sparks*  
  
Ruto: AHHH!  
  
Nerio: Don't worry, she never kills people the same way twice.  
  
Magic24: Shall we introduce the next event?  
  
Konitsu: Then the police will recognize your 'style'... *Whispers* Mountain Dew thing?  
  
Magic24: YEAH! That sounds good!  
  
Konitsu: YAY! THE MOUNTAIN DEW THING! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!  
  
Malon: What the heck is Mountain Dew?  
  
Nerio: A highly addictive soft-drink with a lot of caffeine. Konitsu calls it "Hyper Juice"...  
  
Magic24: *Does super-happy dance* YAY! Mountain Dew is the single most bestest thing in the world!  
  
Konitsu: YUPPERS!  
  
Nabooru: How do we play?  
  
Nerio: Basically, you have to stay in a room with -them- *Points at Konitsu and Magic, who are dancing around like lunatics* for an hour. Firts three to crack or get kicked out by -them- lose. I get to stay out here with Link.  
  
Magic24: Uhh, Nerio, don't try anything drastic. The contestants get to be hyped up with us! YAY!  
  
Nerio: *Blinks* And why would I do that? It's not that Link is the only human who has enough magic to turn me back other than you and Konitsu....  
  
Ruto: Is -she- bringing any weapons?  
  
Konitsu: Oh, I always have my weapons hun.  
  
Magic24: I SAID NO! Konitsu, maybe you should keep your weapons outside, ya know, for safety purposes...  
  
Link: Good idea, and I'm not turning you back Nerio...  
  
Konitsu: But, I'm nothing without my weapons... DARN TOOTIN! I put you in faerie form, and there you stay! Teach you to kill someone...  
  
Nerio: Oh come on! I WAS DRUNK! Just let me off the hook!  
  
Magic24: I...am....going....to....get.....the......Mountain.....Dews.....*Runs faaaar away*  
  
Konitsu: No, absolutly no excuse for your actions Nerio.  
  
Malon: Are we doing this individually?  
  
Nerio: No, your all in the room together...No weapons Konitsu  
  
Konitsu: Can it, or I'll tell the police you nit-wit!  
  
Magic24: *Back with Mountain Dews* Ok, one for me.....two for me.....one for you....three for me.....  
  
Nerio: FOR THE LAST TIME I WAS DRUNK! It's not -my- fault.  
  
Konitsu: *Realizes Magic is counting funny* Hehe, don't mind the uneveness.  
  
Nerio: *Still ranting* He shot -my- friend first! So what if I killed a cop? ARE THEY ANY BETTER?  
  
Magic24: Five for me.....three for you...... OK, DRINK UP!  
  
Magic24: *Guzzling down Mountain Dew like there's no tomarrow, but stops* Nerio, nobody cares who you killed, so can it.  
  
Konitsu: *Drinks her Mountain Dew, then from nowhere get a 12-pack and is drinking that*  
  
Link: You killed a cop? 0.o???  
  
Nerio: SO? You wanna make something of it?  
  
Magic24: Back to my Mountain Dew... *Grabs one from Konitsu and drinks that too*  
  
Malon: SHUT UP! *Drinks all four Mountain Dews she has*  
  
Konitsu: *Swips Ruto's Mountain Dew*  
  
Ruto: HEY! Now I don't have any! I'll never survive!  
  
Ruto: *Swips Nabooru's Mountain Dew and drinks it* HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Konitsu: HEY! *Bonks Ruto on the head, gives Nabooru 12 Mountain Dews, and the rest six*  
  
Magic24: OKAAAAAY! I'M ALL HYPED UP!  
  
Malon: METOMETOMETOMETO*Breath*METOMETOMETO!  
  
Saria: WAAAY TOO MUCH CAFFEINE!  
  
Nerio: Be afraid, be -very- afraid.  
  
Link: Belive me, I am!  
  
Magic24: I'M NOT! I'M ONLY SCARED OF LIGHTNING AND BUGS AND THOSE COFFEE THINGIES THAT WISTLE AT YOU AND SHOOT STEAM...  
  
Konitsu: TO THE CHAMBER YOU SCURVY MATES!  
  
Malon: SCURVY!  
  
Magic24: OKAY! Everyone is done! Into the room with ya'll!  
  
Konitsu: AVAST! LAND HO OF THE STAR BOARD SIDE! BUCKLE IN THE PORT SAILS!  
  
Magic24: YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF.......MOUNTAIN DEW!  
  
Ruto: DEAR GOD! SAVE ME LINK!  
  
Link: Hellllllllllll no!  
  
Konitsu: ARG! YOU LILY LIVERED WEASLE! YOU COULDN'T STEER A SHIP 'ROUND A TIDE POOL!  
  
Magic24: I'M IN THE ROOM! *Does funky dance* I'M FIRST, LOOK AT MY DANCE!  
  
Saria: I'M SECOND! *Does semi-funky dace*  
  
Konitsu: COME MATEY'S, THERE'S PLUNDER TO BE HAD! *Runs into room and does funky dance too*  
  
Magic24: *Walks over to a swivel chair, starts spinning* WEEEEEEE!!!  
  
*As you can see, the room has many swivel chairs, an N64, and computer. Everyone sits down, Magic continues spinning like crazy, shouting random stupid things not to be said*  
  
Magic24: WEEEEEE! *Stops* Whoa, I'm soooo dizzy....  
  
Ruto: MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SPINNING!  
  
Magic24: You think that did it?  
  
Konitsu: *Runs over to N64* I'll duel with ye! WE'LL SEE WHO IS QUEEN OF ALL RAPSCALLIONS!!!  
  
Magic24: *Waves her hand* I WANT A KAREOKE MACHINE!!!  
  
*Kareoke machine appears*  
  
Konitsu: SHUT YER TRAP YOU OVER GROWN BARNACUL! YOUR NO BETTER THAN THE SEAWEED ON MY FAIR SHIP'S HAUL!  
  
Malon: YOU HAVE A SHIP? THAT'S SOOOO COOL! WAIT, KAREOKE!  
  
Magic24: MINE! I wanted it first, so you'd better back down FARM GIRL!  
  
Konitsu: Aye, the fairest ship to sail all the seven seas! Her name's Chisino, blook of hundreds that means. Aye, perfect name fer' us vermint folks!  
  
Saria: *Whistling* I LIKE CHEESE! DO YOU LIKE CHEESE NABOORU?  
  
Nabooru: Please shut up...  
  
Magic24: WHY DON'T WE HAVE A SINGING CONTEST?  
  
Malon: YEAH! I'm sooo gonna beat you!  
  
Marin: I want to help too! I'm the best vocalist on Koholint!  
  
Konitsu: Arg, ye lowley mice shall never beat captain blood wake!  
  
Ruto: JUST SHUT UP! KONITSU, I CHALLANGE YOU TO A DUEL, AT THE NINTENDO!  
  
Marin: 0.o, Koholint once got invaded by a Captain Blood Wake...  
  
Konitsu: ARGH! I ACCEPT! Your loweleyer than an over gluttonious hare!  
  
Magic24: *Starts Kareoke machine* Lets see, I choose you! *Picks up Destiny's Child CD*  
  
Malon: I ACCEPT!  
  
Ruto: Your soooo gonna go down pirate scum!  
  
*Konitsu and Ruto run over the two N64's and TV's. They are playing to see who can beat Zelda:Ocarina of Time first...*  
  
Konitsu: ARG! Jump me hearty, jump!  
  
Magic24: He can't jump on his own, he needs to be bribed!  
  
Konitsu: *Is already done with Deku Tree* ARG! I knows, I knows my gal.  
  
*"Survivor" Starts playing*  
  
Ruto: ARG! I need concentration! *Ruto is in Hyrule Field*  
  
Konitsu: *Singing along and playing* I'm a survivor, arg. I'm gonna make it, arg.  
  
*Konitsu is already in Dodongo's Cavern, and is approaching the boss*  
  
Magic24: *Singing* I'm a survivor! I'm gonna make it! I will survive! Keep on survivin'!  
  
*Ruto is not far behind*  
  
Konitsu: ARG! I SURVIVED THE DRAGON SCUM! HAHAHA! *recieves red ruby*  
  
Malon: Wishing you the best, pray that you are blessed, with success, no stress and lots of happiness! *Singing*  
  
*Konitsu is continuing to Zora's Domain, while Ruto is rather lost*  
  
*Ruto sees herself*  
  
Ruto: That's meeee!!!!  
  
Marin: *Singing* I'M BETTER THAN THAT! I'm not gonna blast you, on the radio! I'M BETTER THAN THAT!  
  
Konitsu: Arg, no dip, you sherlocky scum! *Is becoming 17*  
  
Ruto: So Mrs. Pirate Smarty Pants! I'm 17 too!  
  
*Konitsu is fairly zooming to the Forest Temple, while Ruto goes to see herself as a kinder, genteler Zora*  
  
Konitsu: Arg, You'll get nowhere examining your face, my gal!  
  
Nabooru: GOD! WITH THAT MUSIC AND SINGING I'M GONNA GO INSANE!!!  
  
Saria: *Humming* I'm a survivor!  
  
Magic24: Let's choose another song!  
  
Malon: I pick now!  
  
Konitsu: I need pauses, ARG! *Is through with the Forest and onto the Fire*  
  
Ruto: I look soo mature, my Linky-boy is bound to marry me!  
  
Konitsu: Aye, just keep gauking my lass, and I'll win yet!  
  
Malon: YES! I FOUND IT! *Holds up Willa Ford CD*  
  
Marin: Uh oh, I haven't heard of her...  
  
Konitsu: Arg!  
  
Ruto: I mean I am -so- hot!!!  
  
*Ruto decided to move on, and is in the Forest Temple, finally!*  
  
*Konitsu is through with the Fire and onto the Water!*  
  
Magic24: Hey Kon-chan, isn't this a really hard temple?  
  
*Malon tries to put in CD, but Nabooru walks over*  
  
Konitsu: Only because of your scurvy tricks! No one will confuse Captain Blook Wake this time, me lass!  
  
Magic24: Hehehehe...  
  
Nabooru: ENOUGH! I'M GONNA DIE OF MUSIC!  
  
*Nabooru kills the Kareoke Machine, and Magic24 is veeerrrryyy mad at her!*  
  
Konitsu: ARG! SHE CRACKED! *Pauses both games* Well, me matey, you leave, but alas, you are a scurvy looser...  
  
Nabooru: GOOD BYE!  
  
Magic24: I HATE YOU STUPID-*Mumbles last part to herself*  
  
*Nabooru storms out of the room, Kareoke machine rebuilds itself, and the game continues*  
  
Konitsu: *On Morphia* ARG! I'll beat ye yet, ye slimy fish!  
  
Malon: YEAH! Ok, how about the new Willa song?  
  
Ruto: It's hot in this temple! I'll dehydrate!  
  
*Ruto struggles through fire, then tries to get into water*  
  
Magic24: I'll start! *Starts singing*  
  
Kontisu: *On Shadow Temple* Argh, now shadows me likes! Killers, friends, with the shadows we are! Aye.  
  
Magic24: *Singing* Do you understand what I need, from you? Let me be the girl to show you everything you can be is everything I can be-  
  
Malon: *Singing* I wanna be bad, you make that look so good...  
  
Marin: Got things on my mind, I never thought I would!  
  
*Konitsu is stuggling on Spirit, but Ruto can't even get into Shadow*  
  
Ruto: AHHHHH!  
  
Konitsu: ARG! Captain Blood Wake will beat ye yet!  
  
Magic24: HOLD UP! Malon, you totally cut me off!  
  
Malon: SO? Your singing is bad!  
  
Saria: Ohhhhhhhh  
  
Marin: Um, you guys, calm down!  
  
Magic24: WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! YOUR OUT RIGHT NOW!  
  
Konitsu: *Pauses again* Argh, let them fight. FIFTY GOLD AND GEMS ON THE WINNER! Go Magic my matey!  
  
Malon: WHAT? No, you can't do that! THAT'S NOT FAIR!  
  
Magic24: *Slaps Malon* LIFE ISN'T FAIR, JUST ASK ZELDA!  
  
Konitsu: Argh, she's right, me lass. Just kick her arse' she'll go insane with me, matey...  
  
Malon: SHE'S- Oh wait, FINE, I'M OUTTA HERE!  
  
Magic24: *Waves* BYE BYE BYE!  
  
Saria: What is wrong with you guys?  
  
Konitsu: Argh, I'm almost sorry to see ye go lass. But ye crossed to many times, aye ye did.  
  
Magic24: She was just ASKING to get kicked out!  
  
Saria: I thought you liked....never mind.  
  
Marin: Shhhh, don't mention that!  
  
Konitsu: Aye, best not to mention that me lass.  
  
Magic24: BACK TO THE SING OFF!  
  
Ruto: I'm done with the Shadow Temple! WOHOO!  
  
Konitsu: BACK TO THE PLAY-OFF!  
  
*Konitsu beats the Spirit Temple, and is headed for Ganon's when Ruto gets to the Spirit*  
  
Magic24: Marin, you can choose the song, Saria, would you like to join in?  
  
Konitsu: *At Ganondorf* ARGH! YOU SCURVY, YELLOW BELLIED, GREEN GUTTED, PIG BELLIED, POP NOSED, BUBBLED HEADED BAFOON! DIE ARGH DIE!  
  
Marin: *Walks over and picks up 'Moulin Rouge Soundtrack'* I want "Lady Marmalade"  
  
Ruto: *She's up to Ganondorf* AHHH HOW UGLY!  
  
Konitsu: *Done with game* ARGH I WIN!  
  
Ruto: DANG IT ALL TO THAT HOT PLACE!  
  
Magic24: *Singing* Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista!  
  
Konitsu: Argh, ye do not want to know the lyrics me lass, for they are pop nosed in themselves! *Whispering off camera* Besides, those four are seriously messed up!  
  
Marin: Gitchy gitchy ya ya dada! *Singing*  
  
Magic24: I KNOW! But I didn't pick it....Go Konitsu!  
  
Konitsu: *Gives up* Gitchy gitchy ya ya yeeee! ARGH!  
  
Saria: Hey sista, soul sistas, better get that dough sistas! *Singing too!*  
  
Magic24: *Singing* HEY HEY! HEYYYYAYAYAYAYAYA!  
  
Konitsu: Lady Marmalade down in ol' New Orleans, strutting her stuff on the street! She said, hello, hey Joe, wanna give it a goooo?  
  
Saria: OH OH OHHHHH!!!  
  
Ruto: LADY MARMALADE! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!  
  
Marin: All my sistas yeah!  
  
Magic24: *Turns off music* Ok, done with that for now, my throught hurts!  
  
All: AWWWW!  
  
Saria: I'm gonna play the computer then...  
  
Konitsu: Ok, I'm done with my pirate lingo, my jaw hurts and I'm out of insults!  
  
Ruto: I need water...  
  
Magic24: *Waves hand and Mountain Dew machine appears* WOHOO! Am I good or what?  
  
Marin: YAY!  
  
Konitsu: *Attacks Mountain Dew machine, then pushes Saria off the computer* Fanfiction.net, here I come! Oh, what digi-fics are there today, my pretty's?  
  
Saria: HEY! I WAS ON THAT YOU OBSESSED FREAK!  
  
Konitsu: So, ohhh, a Jyoumi/Kouyako....  
  
*Meanwhile, there is a fight near the Mountain Dew machine...*  
  
Magic24: NO! GET THE HECK AWAY! YOU MAY -NOT- HAVE MY MOUNTAIN DEW!  
  
Ruto: BUT KONITSU DRANK IT ALL!  
  
Konitsu: *Crying over computer* This is -so- sad...WAAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Saria: Get off! I was playing with my virtual pet!  
  
Marin: YOU CAN'T HAVE MINE EITHER!  
  
Konitsu: SCREW YOU! Oh Jyou, she loves you! MATT DOESN'T LOVE HER!  
  
Ruto: *Grabs Marin's drink and drinks it* SO THERE!  
  
Saria: I DON'T CARE! WHY DON'T YOU GO SIT AND SOB AWHILE?  
  
Magic24: HEY! That's not fair you stupid fish-stick!  
  
Marin: *Crying* She took mine!  
  
Konitsu: I CAN'T! OH MY GOD! YOLIE! NO!! KEN DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!! AHHHHH!  
  
Magic24: Saria, Konitsu, SHUT UP! I'm gonna kick somebody out!  
  
Konitsu: But, but....it's like -so- mellow dramatic...did you know Ken was gay?  
  
Magic24: Did you know I don't care?  
  
Marin: OOOOHHHHH!  
  
Ruto: SHUT UP!  
  
Konitsu: 'Cause I didn't, Matt is too evidently, but their not together. Matt's with Tai, who's cheating on Sora.  
  
Magic24: Ummm, KAY! Anyway, I've decided to kick out Ruto!  
  
Ruto: WHAT! Not again!  
  
Konitsu: Ya, sure.. *Eyes plastered to screen* And Davis is with Ken, and TK thinks Kari is with Davis, so he wants to commit suicide...  
  
Saria: SO WHAT? *Pushes Konitsu off computer* HA! YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT!  
  
Ruto: 0.0! But I'm gonna die, nobody likes me!  
  
Konitsu: *Ties up Saria and returns to fic* And Koushira has a deadly virus and Miyako is in mourning already!  
  
Marin: You are the weakest link, GOOD BYE!  
  
Saria: *Unties herself and marches out of room, therefor making herself become one of the potentials instead of Ruto* ARGH!  
  
Konitsu: OH MY GODDESS! JYOU IS DEAD! NOOOO!!!  
  
Ruto: Thank you Saria!  
  
Saria: WHAT? I just wanted.....wait.....KONITSU I HATE YOU!  
  
Magic24: Shall we return outside? *Grabs Konitsu and drags her outside*  
  
Konitsu: I don't care *sobbing* MY JYOU-SEMPAI!! NOOO!!! *Looks at Saria* THIS IS YOUR FAULT!  
  
*Everyone is outside*  
  
Magic24: We will need so much therapy after this....hi Link!  
  
Malon: I HATE THIS! I hope I don't get booted off!  
  
Konitsu: *Sniff* Hi Link! *Sniff* Your not gonna die on me right? *Throw herself on Link and bawls*  
  
Link: What the heck did you guys do?  
  
Magic24: NOTHING! IT WAS ALL THEM I TELL YA!  
  
Nabooru: WHAT? Yeah right! YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!  
  
Konitsu: *Sniff* Poor little Jyou-Sempai, he was so young! *Sniff* Link's alive, Link's alive...  
  
Link: I'm alive.  
  
Konitsu: Your gonna stay alive, RIGHT?  
  
Magic24: Alright, we are all alive for -now-! Now to vote!  
  
Link: Yeh, sure.  
  
Malon: Don't vote for me! You shoulda heard her singing, you woulda....  
  
Magic24: I WILL KILL YOU!  
  
Konitsu: Thank you, stay alive forever! Vote for Saria, AND BRING BACK MY JYOU-SAMPAI! *Curls up and bawls*  
  
Magic24: Just to avoid any confusion, the three peoples who went crazy so you can vote on em' are: Nabooru, Malon, and Saria!  
  
Ruto: HA! You thought you could vote for me!  
  
Nerio: SHUT UP FISH-STICK!  
  
Magic24: See ya'll next time on....  
  
All: FORCING LOVE!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
*And that's all, there isn't any more of this chapter left, which is good 'cause it took me a heck of a long time to write the thing! Excuse my typing, I am extremly tired and don't know what I'm doing! So now I'm gonna ask annoying questions... Why do Konitsu and Magic have special powers? Why are we so attached to Link? Why the heck did Nabooru go crazy? Is Konitsu obsessed with digi-people? Why does she keep talking in Japanese? I quite frankly don't know. You might find out next time! Review, review, review! PLEASE! I need to know how to write another chapter! Also, if you guys have any ideas on events, then feel free to tell me! I'm out of em! Konitsu came up with Potatoe Wrestling, so thank her! BYE! ~Magic24 


	3. Piggy Racing at It's Finest

A/N: AND SO HERE IS THE VERY LONG AWAITED 3RD CHAPTER OF MINE AND KONITSU'S WONDERFUL FIC! I know it took us a while, but I promise that this one may be the funniest one yet. I'm serious! I laughed so much just writing it that I spit on the screen! Ok, too much info, but you get it. OK, here is the very anticipated chapter of "Forcing Love"...  
  
DISCLAIMER: We don't own Zelda. Nintendo does. Ain't that just so nifty? If we owned Zelda, it would consist of hot guys worshiping Konitsu and I. SO NOW YOU KNOW WE DON'T OWN IT! We also don't own "Home Improvment", PIMKIE, Nintendo itself, and if there's a sport on racing pigs, we don't own it either. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!   
  
~~~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~~~  
  
Konitsu: *Skips out in black bell bottoms and a tight blue tank top that reads 'Pimkie' in black glitter, her hair is up in one bun on each side of her head and she's wearing Birkenstock sandles* HI ALL!  
  
Magic24: *Runs out after Konitsu wearing a Nintendo shirt that reads "I SAVED...STUFF" and a blue jean-skirt. Her hair is in braids like a jamacan person, and she has fish-net stockings on* YAY! GROOVY! HI! Guess what? OUR SHOW IS A HIT! And now we're back!  
  
Konitsu: I went shopping at... PIMKIE! *runs around dancing happily*  
  
Magic24: I SAVED STUFF! *Dances with Konitsu*  
  
Konitsu: GO US DUDE! *continues dancing*  
  
Magic24: *Regains herself* So anyway, people have voted! WOW! And this is another show of.. SAY IT WITH ME!  
  
Konitsu: FORCING LOVE!  
  
Nerio: You two don't have to force idiotcy, do you?  
  
Magic24: YES! Very good Konitsu! Nerio is back, oh joy. Let's bring out the contestants and LINK!  
  
Konitsu: Oh Link, how I love thee, your hair, is golden sunshine, your eyes, liquid pools of the clearest water...  
  
*Everyone walks out, and the girls swoon and the guys whistle*  
  
Nerio: Oh Konitsu, your brain, the size of a peanut.  
  
Magic24: And how you kill stuff, oh how magical...  
  
Link: Um, nice poem?  
  
Malon: Oh god... I hope I'm not voted off...  
  
Konitsu: DARN TOOTIN IT'S NICE!  
  
Magic24: YES! WE'RE POETS!  
  
Nabooru: You wish!  
  
Nerio: God save us all.  
  
Magic24: Are we all still bitter about the whole "Mountain Dew" thing?  
  
Konitsu: *clears throat* My blood flows in endless rivers, my end is so divine, God gave me no choice, why live life on a line?  
  
Nabooru: *Steps back* That's.... nice...  
  
Magic24: Can we tell who got voted off? WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!  
  
Nerio: She'll get like that once in a while...  
  
Konitsu: I LOVE POETRY! Yes, Magic?  
  
Magic24: People can't vote for people not nominated to be KILL- I mean, voted off! Just thought I'd clear that up! It won't help their chances...  
  
Malon: OH GOD! I'M GONNA DIE!  
  
Link: Calm down!   
  
Konitsu: No, it's just that some idiot voted for Ruto when she WASN'T NOMINATED!  
  
Nerio: It won't work people, they're too...well, I won't say smart, but...  
  
Magic24: Though tis' our fan. But alas, Ruto isn't nominated... so... she... she... STAYS!  
  
Ruto: BOO-YAH!  
  
Magic24: Anyway, now we announce our lovely voter-off person!  
  
Saria: YYEESSS!  
  
Nerio: Don't get to cocky, forest girl.  
  
Magic24: HAHA! Konitsu, please do the honors!  
  
Malon: OH GOD HELP ME! LORD OF ALL CUCKOOS!  
  
Link: Fried Chicken. Yum.  
  
Konitsu: Ah, and we are oh so sad to vote off one green haired beauty, but *Rubs hands toghether* It's time for me to start a forest fire!  
  
Magic24: ONLY YOU CAN START A FOREST FIRE!  
  
Nerio: *manical giggle*  
  
Konitsu: Got that right!  
  
Malon: I STAY ALIVE!  
  
Nabooru: I STAY ALIVE TOO!  
  
Saria: NOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T DIE! I'M ALWAYS TO YOUNG TO DIE!  
  
Magic24: Oh grow up. Seriously, you freak me out with your eternal youth...  
  
Konitsu: Say 'bye-bye', *waves* Bye bye *Sparks at Saria and sets her hair on fire*  
  
Nerio: MWHAHAHA!  
  
Magic24: *Waves her hands and starts to open a black hole in the ground* BYE SARIA!  
  
Saria: *falls into pit* Nooooo!  
  
Konitsu: BYE-BYE!  
  
Link: I can't watch! *Stares at Saria's burning hair, as she falls* Maybe I can...  
  
Magic24: YAY!  
  
Nerio: It's a super nova...  
  
Konitsu: ddduuuudddeeee....  
  
Magic24: That was totally worth it. Oh yeah, Malon almost died.  
  
Link: That. was. freaky.  
  
Malon: DEAR GOD! I CAN'T LOSE!.  
  
Konitsu: You can't lost? Lose, dear, lose.  
  
Nerio: GRAMMER POLICE!  
  
Magic24: Oh, I'm so sowwy. BUT LETS MOVE ON!   
  
Nabooru: Oh, that HAD to sting... Did I mention I want my hair fully intact if I die?  
  
Konitsu: Yes, many times. Now! MOVING ON!  
  
Ruto: I just don't want to think about what they'll do to me if I die...  
  
Link: Fish sticks!  
  
Magic24: Guess what time it is? NO, NOT TOOL TIME! EVENT TIME!  
  
Konitsu: *singing* FISH AND CHIPS AND VINEGAR! VINAGER!   
  
Ruto: AHHHHH!  
  
Nerio: Bad joke, two bad jokes.  
  
Konitsu: Pepper, pepper, pepper, salt!  
  
Malon: Just get on with it...  
  
Konitsu: Magic, I'll allow you to do the honors.  
  
Magic24: I shall lead you over to the pig pen, where you shall pick a piggie!  
  
Link: I really feel sorry for you ladies...  
  
Malon: Why?  
  
Nerio: o.0 I should've guessed.  
  
Konitsu: PIG WRESTLING!   
  
Magic24: Then, you'll all saddle up... AND RACE EACH OTHER!  
  
Konitsu: Or racing...   
  
Magic24: Sorry, Konitsu. Not today...  
  
Link: You all scare me.  
  
Ruto: WHAT THE HECK?  
  
Nerio: Don't worry, you... might...live.  
  
Magic24: *Giggles a lot* PIGGIE RACING! I get to gamble cause I am magical!  
  
Konitsu: -I- would have had you wrestling the pigs, but Magic insisted.  
  
*Every girl walks over to look at the pigs, while Konitsu and Magic set up the track. Link is left to follow them and help.*  
  
Konitsu: Cow pie here, mud hole there *points at locations and said opsitcals spring up*  
  
Magic24: Biiiiiig muddy puddle here. Pig chow here... *Does the same*  
  
Link: I repeat, you all scare me.  
  
Nerio: Hopefully you won't have to get used to them.  
  
Magic24: And Link, you can sit and watch. OK! Let's turn back and see the pigs they selected!  
  
Nabooru: *standing next to a mean looking pig that keeps snorting*  
  
Malon: *Standing next to a black and white pig that looks like a cow*  
  
Magic24: SSOOOWWWWEEEYYYY!  
  
Konitsu: Here, piggy, piggy!  
  
Ruto: *Standing next to a white pig, that looks sickly* THEY MADE ME PICK LAST!  
  
Magic24: And Marin's choice is...  
  
Marin: *rolls eyes, standing next to a gentle looking pig she has adorned with sea shells* Isn't she just precious?  
  
Konitsu: Wonderful, deary.  
  
Link: A pig is a pig.  
  
Nerio: Sow.  
  
Konitsu: OINK!  
  
Magic24: OK! Marin and Ruto, you race. And Malon and Nabooru, you race!  
  
Nerio: I repeat, Sow.  
  
Link: Sow, whatever.  
  
Nabooru: Whatever.  
  
Magic24: WHATEVER!  
  
Konitsu: The two winners will not have the option of being voted off! The two losers, well, one of them faces... DOOM!  
  
Magic24: AND THE OTHER I THROW IN THE MUD!  
  
Ruto: I can't win on this thing!   
  
Konitsu: That's the plan...I'll get you my pretty, and your little pig, too!  
  
Nerio: Good god...  
  
Magic24: Oink Oink-freaking- oink!  
  
Konitsu: OOOIIIINNNNKKKKKK!  
  
Link: Can we go now?  
  
Nerio: No, they're not done yet.  
  
Konitsu: Oinky, Oinky, Oink, OOOIIINNNKKK!  
  
Link: --; how could ya tell?  
  
Magic24: Oinky little piggies go OINK!  
  
*Pigs look at Konitsu and Magic, who are very scary*  
  
Konitsu: BIG PIG GO OOOIIIINNKKK!  
  
Nerio: mmm, bacon!   
  
Magic24: PIGS MAKE HAM!  
  
*Pigs squeal in fear of the rabid fairies, humans, ect.*  
  
Malon: *Watching the pig discussion* Oh god, I'm surrounded my morons...  
  
Konitsu: AND MANY OTHER DELICIOUS MEAT PRODUCT AND BY-PRODUCTS!  
  
Nabooru: Your first clue...  
  
Magic24: YES THEY DO! OINKY OINKY OINKY OINK! I'm done.  
  
Ruto: I am now scared of pigs.  
  
Konitsu: One more *deep breath* OOOOIIIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKK!!! okay, done.  
  
Marin: I'm scared of them *points at Konitsu and Magic*  
  
Link: Thank the Godesses...  
  
Magic24: Ok, onto the track!  
  
Nerio: It's over.  
  
Konitsu: Contestants, to your pigs! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT!  
  
Marin: You. Have. Mental. Problems.  
  
Magic24: WALK THEM SOWS OVER TO THAT STARTING LINE! *Everyone does so*  
  
Malon: What gave it away?  
  
Nerio: Pigs. Some of them are male.   
  
Konitsu: WHATEVER!  
  
Marin: Oh, I don't know... TAKE A GUESS!  
  
Magic24: WHATEVER! Ok, Malon and Nabooru, you RACE FIRST!  
  
Link: I'm just gonna step away now.  
  
Konitsu: Yes, we should.  
  
Magic24: *Walks up the hill with a big ol' whistle thingy and sits down*  
  
Link: I have the feeling this is the type of thing you watch out of morbid curiosity, like the P-word movie.  
  
Konitsu: I watched it 'cause I was invited...  
  
Nerio: Yes, we've heard the story.  
  
Magic24: So who do you guys think will win?  
  
Konitsu: Malon, because I stage... *gets bonked on the head by a fast flying Nerio*  
  
*Malon gets on the pig, which is funny to watch, and Nabooru does the same. They are now awaiting Magic's whistle*  
  
Konitsu: YEE HAW! RIDE 'EM PIG GIRL!  
  
Magic24: I hope Malon will win too! *Gets ready to blow the whistle*  
  
Link: --; I want to go home.  
  
Nerio: We all do, and just blow the whistle already.  
  
Magic24: *BBBBIIIIIGGGG BBBRREEEAAATTHHEEEE..... Little toot* GO!  
  
Konitsu: GIDDY UP!  
  
*Malon and Nabooru start kicking the pigs, who stand there watching the mud. Soon they start to walk, and slowly lie in the mud*  
  
Magic24: MOVVVEEE STUPID PIGS!  
  
Konitsu: MWHAHA!   
  
Nerio: And how did you plan on this working? Morons.  
  
*Pigs get scared of Magic and Konitsu, and run really fast around the track. Nabooru falls off, so Malon runs ahead*  
  
Konitsu: GET UP POINTY LADY! MWHAHAHA!  
  
Link: What is -wrong- with you?  
  
*Soon Malon's is in a puddle, and so she gets off and pushes the pig. Nabooru isn't far behind, but her pig stops for some grub*  
  
Nerio: She has her 'mental problems' list alphabitized.  
  
Magic24: HAHAHAHA! PUSH THE PIGGY!  
  
Link: --;  
  
*Malon gets the pig going, and crosses the finish line. Nabooru's has fully stopped and is lying in the mud*  
  
Konitsu: MWHAHAHA!   
  
Malon: *BIG BREATH* I WWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!  
  
Magic24: AND IT'S OVER! PIG/COW GIRL WINS THE FIRST RACE!  
  
Link: And my new quote for today "You all scare me"  
  
Konitsu: YEE HAW!   
  
Magic24: I LUV THIS THING!  
  
Malon: Can I clean up now?  
  
Nabooru: *mutters curse words*  
  
Magic24: And I thought Nabooru's pig would win...  
  
Konitsu: I did too, ponder the mysteries of life...  
  
Malon: CAN I CLEAN UP NOW?  
  
Nerio: Don't ponder to much Konitsu, we wouldn't want you to self-combust... YES! CLEAN UP!  
  
Magic24: The ways of god is weird... YES, YES YOU CAN! *Runs down and pushes Nabooru in the mud* HAHAHA! *Runs back up the hill*  
  
*Malon goes off to clean up, while Ruto and Marin set up to race.*  
  
Nabooru: *runs after magic, syth held high*  
  
Konitsu: I wonder if it would be more fun to intervine, or to watch magic get her arse kicked...  
  
Link: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!  
  
Nerio: A LOT is wrong with them.  
  
Magic24: *Trips Nabooru* HAHAHA! *Runs away towards the pig pen*  
  
Nabooru: *tackles Magic from behind and starts a cat fight...which Nabooru promptly wins before Link gets sick of them and intervines*  
  
Magic24: *Whining* I could have had her... If I had my marker.....  
  
Malon: Ok, I'm clean and back, who's next?  
  
Konitsu: *twirls frying pan* Weapons of world desctructions...don't leave home without them!  
  
Nerio: --;  
  
Magic24: *Gets at the top of the hill* Ok, let's get ready...  
  
Konitsu: RUTO AND MARIN! Get on the pigs and line up!  
  
Magic24: *BIIIIG BREATH..... LITTLE WHISTLE BLOW* GOOO GOOO GOOO!  
  
Malon: Why do you do that?  
Ruto: *grumbles about 'stupid sick pigs' as her coughs and chockes when she tries to get it to go*  
  
Magic24: It's fun.  
  
*Marin whispers calm words to her pig, and it ambles slowly down the race way, ignoring all obsticals, while Ruto has submitted to the 'push and curse' tactic for her pig... I think you know who wins*  
  
Magic24: HAHAHA! GO SEA PIG GO!  
  
Malon: Why couldn't my pig do that?  
  
Konitsu: *watching Marin's pig amble slowly along* This is going to take FOREVER!  
  
Nerio: No idea.  
  
Link: You. Are. All. Insane.  
  
Nerio: Your first clue...  
  
Magic24: It's like a big snail...  
  
Konitsu: *singing* IT'S THE PIG RACE THAT NEVER ENDS!  
  
Magic24: *singing* YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND!  
  
Malon: DEAR GOD!  
  
Konitsu: SOME PEOPLE STARTING RACING IT NOT NOWING IT WAS SLOW!  
  
Link: *grumbling* If I had my sword with me right now...  
  
Marin: *about halfway down the track* Good piggy.  
  
Magic24: AND THEY JUST KEPT ON RACING SO THEIR HEAD KONITSU WOULDN'T BLOW!  
  
Ruto: *about two inches away from the starting line* Stupid pig.  
  
Malon: STOP! GO MARIN! WIN THE DAMN RACE SO THEY'LL STOP!  
  
Konitsu: IT'S THE PIG RACE THAT NEVER ENDS!  
  
Marin: You shouldn't scream, she's going just as fast as she can! *pats piggy*  
  
Magic24: AND IT WILL GO ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!  
  
Link: I can't believe I let them keep me here...  
  
Nerio: I'm halfway to singing myself.  
  
Link: *goes barbarian tactic on the two hostess and knocks them out*  
  
Nerio: Nevermind...  
  
Magic24: *Grumbling while being unconious* Some Piggies, started racing it...  
  
Malon: My hero  
  
Konitsu: *talking in her sleep* Pretty pigg....sooooeeeyyy.  
  
Link: Happy to oblidge.  
  
Nerio: He made them stop! I LOVE YOU MAN! *glomps Link as best a fairy can*  
  
Magic24: *Recovers* Why the hell did you do that? I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU WANT TO DIE?  
  
Konitsu: *wakes up* Do not kill the bishie! SAVE THE BISHIES!!! *blinks* Yama-sama.  
  
Link: *Rolls eyes*  
  
Magic24: Very well. But never hit me again, I've already been beat up today... *Watching race* WHY ISN'T THIS OVER YET?  
  
Nerio: Yes, Konitsu, chase after Yamato.  
  
Malon: Go faaaaar away....  
  
Konitsu: Yes, it is over, cast your vote, I most go to my annual Yama stalkers meeting now... I bid you good day. *waves and wonders off*  
  
Nerio: Don't. wanna. know.  
  
Link: No one does.  
  
Magic24: I WILL FINISH THEN! *Grabs Konitsu* Vote for either Ruto or Nabooru.   
  
Malon: You can't vote me off!  
  
Ruto: I DON'T WANT TO BE A FISH STICK!  
  
Konitsu: *zombie mode* Must...stalk...  
  
Nerio: --;;  
  
Konitsu: Ishida...booty...good...  
  
Nerio: 0.o  
  
Magic24: THE PIGGIE JUMPED OVER THE MOON! *Blinks* Oh never mind.... Anyway, vote vote vote!  
  
Link: And were leaving *Hurridly closes the curtain, but you catch a glimpse of Konitsu runnig off after another blonde bishie*  
  
*You can also hear Magic singing the "Song that Never Ends" and people hitting her.*  
  
*sparkly letters* THE END... for now! *dum dum ddduuummm* MHUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA *evil giggle*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: AND SO ENDS THIS WEIRD STORY OF OURS! DEAR GOD! Now, vote for either Ruto, or Nabooru. I think Ruto will go, but just think, wouldn't it be cool if we FORCED LINK TO DATE HER? *Giggles* THAT WOULD BE SO WEIRD! And fun to watch... Next week: ROBOT TORTURE AND ANGRY PIGEON POOP! *Giggles again* We just came up with that! See ya next time, and review! THERE WILL BE A PRIZE COMING UP FOR YOU GUYS SHORTLY! ~Magic24 


	4. Robot WAAAARRRRRZZZZZZZAH!

A/N: WEEEEEE! Another chapter! AND IT'S FUNNY... Why? Because I said so! SO LAUGH! Anyway, I'd like ya'll to vote, cuz we're coming to the climax of our random dating show, and WE NEED VOTES! Only two will remain to move onto the ULTIMATE WEIRD FINAL ROUND OF DOOOOOOM! So Vote!  
  
Disclaimer: Neither konitsu or I own Zelda, Robot Wars, the Wind Fish, a duck, Sesame Street, Star Wars... AND I DON'T OWN A COW! So there...  
  
~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~  
  
*The lights are turned down low, and the audience is very quiet, except one guy sneezed. Anyway, Magic walks out with a long sleeved shirt with a pretty picture of a tiger on it, and black jeans with clogs that match. Her hair is down, seeing as she's too lazy to put it up today*  
  
Magic: HI!  
  
*Konitsu walks in with a black shirt on that reads "Jesus loves you, but I sure as hell don't" In red on it, with blue jean flairs. She is wearing birkenstock sandels and an absurd number of ankle and wrist braclets. Her hair is simpley held back with a black bandanna*  
  
Konitsu: *waves* Guten Abend! ^_^  
  
Magic: We're back again!  
  
Konitsu: Don't we feel special!?  
  
Magic: I DO! And have we got a show for you!  
  
*Magic begins to jump up and down*  
  
Konitsu: A REALLY MESSED UP SHOW! Just the way we like 'em!  
  
*Konitsu joins Magic in the jumping*  
  
Magic: Without any more of my jumping... HERE'S THE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T DIED YET!  
  
Konitsu: BUT PROBABLY WILL BY THE TIME WE'RE DONE WITH 'EM!  
  
*Everybody files out, and Ruto growls at Konitsu*  
  
Magic: *Runs over to Link* HI LINK! I missed you!  
  
Konitsu: Whoa, rabid fish. I feel so unloved...  
  
Ruto: You should!  
  
Link: *Backing away* Uh... yeah  
  
Konitsu: Back of, fish girl. *Looks at Link, then at her Cloud (FFVII) plushie* Link, Cloud, Link, Cloud, Link...SCREW THIS I WANT THE REAL THING! *Glomps Link*  
  
Magic: *Pulls the glomping konitsu away* Anyway, the votes are in! AND THEY WERE CLOSE, CUZ NOBODY VOTED!  
  
Konitsu: Which techniacally means we could be lying to you, but trust us here folks!  
  
Magic: Yes, we don't rig the show! I -think-... Anyway, it was between Nabooru and Ruto!  
  
Ruto: *Crosses her fingers* ALL I WANT IS TO BE ALIVE!  
  
Konitsu: And since I like Nabooru... Say bai bai Ruto! *Waves, raises her voice childishly high* Buh bye!  
  
Magic: CAN WE EAT HER NOW?  
  
Ruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Konitsu: We need cooking device... I can give electricity, *fingers spark* but we need, like, a microwave.  
  
Nerio: (Whoa, she's still here!? Duuude!) I'm leaving! *flies away* (Took care o that!)  
  
*Magic smirks at the thought and creates a GIANT COSMIC MICROWAVE OF UNIMAGINABLE COOKING AND HEAT! Magic nods at konitsu to do the rest*  
  
Ruto: Oh god, my father told me this would happen...  
  
Konitsu: Shuddap, your father is an idiot too....anywho... *Uses her lightning to heard Ruto into the microwave and turn it on, after about five minutes it dings and Magic opens it to reveal...a plate of FISHSTICKS!!!*  
  
Magic: WOHOOOOOOOO!  
  
Link: I'm actually -happy- to see Ruto now!  
  
Malon: *Runs over and eats one* She's so gooooood!  
  
Konitsu: *Stuffs a fish stick in her mouth, chews, and spits it back out again.* Shoulda known she'd taste bad. And Link shows he actually -does- have an evil side... *looks at Malon* Whatever floats your boat...  
  
Link: Hey, I'm allowed to be evil -sometimes-!  
  
Magic: *Sits a while* I just remembered I hate fish sticks...  
  
Malon: Another brilliant moment from Magic  
  
Marin: Would that be cruelty to animals or am I just over reaching?  
  
Konitsu: Your overreaching.  
  
Magic: *Points to Malon* YOUR OVER-EATING!  
  
Link: Uh...oh... HIT THE DECK!  
  
Konitsu: *decides to take sound advice from a sound mind and ducks under her special hostess chair*  
  
*Magic runs near Link, clutches to him, and giggles*  
  
Magic: I'M DUCKING  
  
Konitsu: *mummbling, from under her chair* She's a time bomb ticking, about to explode...  
  
Marin: *Ducks behind a large stage prop.*  
  
Malon: *She pauses for a moment, then this enormous BUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPPP was heard and all the lighting fell down and everybody screamed like this, AHHHHHHHHH, and then Malon falls over, exhausted...*  
  
Magic: THAT WAS SO COOL!  
  
Konitsu: *looks at Link strangely* What was that for? I thought she was going to go evil or something cool like that!!! *sighs and gets up* Now I have dust stains on my je-eans!  
  
Magic: I thought she was gonna hurl  
  
Konitsu: Her going evil would have been cooler...  
  
Malon: *Gets up* WELL I'M SORRY TO DISSAPOINT YOUR STANDARDS OF EVIL-NESS!  
  
Marin: *calmly gets up and retakes her seat*  
  
Konitsu: You should be.  
  
Magic: *Blinks, and unclutches Link's leg* OK! WE HAVE A GAME TO DO! NABOORU! SPEAK NOW!  
  
Nabooru: Er, hi?  
  
Magic: You are quiet, it scares me....  
  
Malon: *Walks over* What's the game THIS time?  
  
Konitsu: She's contemplating or deaths!  
  
Nabooru: Ya, whatever.  
  
Konitsu: WRESTLING!  
  
Magic: NOT AGAIN! But it does involve FIGHTING!  
  
Link: -You- have mental problems...both of you.  
  
Konitsu: Fighting is good...  
  
Magic: IT'S ROBOT WARSSSSSSSSS! *Like guy on TV* LIKE SEEN ON THE ACTUAL SHOW, THESE CONTESTANTS WILL FIGHT TO UNSPEAKABLE DOOM, AND TWO WILL BE ELIMINATED!  
  
Konitsu: *squeals* I LOVE THAT SHOW! The one I watch is all British and stuff and its the greatest thing ever invented!   
  
Nabooru: Robot? What the hell is a robot?  
  
Marin: I pose the same question....  
  
Link: I bet it took them hours to come up with that game...  
  
Konitsu: *bonks Link with her frying pan* DO NOT INSULT THE GENIUS!  
  
Magic: IT'S A GIANT METAL THING YOU MUST CONTROL TO WIIIIIIINNNN! REAC HAVOC ON UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO HAVE WEAKER ROBOTS THEN THEE!  
  
Malon: Sounds cool  
  
Nabooru: This may sound OOC but...NIFTY!  
  
Konitsu: MWHAHAHA! And me and Magic shall run the umpire bots! I call sire Kill-a-lot!  
  
Magic: *Blinks, then decides to play along* AND I CALL... MADAM I-KICK-YO-ASS!  
  
Link: You two are -so- creative...  
  
Konitsu: *sweat drops* And Magic has never watched the British show, I take it! But I'll humor her anyway!   
  
Magic: *Giggles* YAY!  
  
Malon: And where are -our- robots?  
  
Konitsu: *face faults* Um, ya. To give the contestants there robots, we prosent to you...ya... er... *zaps sir kill-a-lot into the impromto robot ring, anyone who watches the show knows he has a grabing claw and a large pointy lance.* I'll leave madam whats her face to you, since i'm humoring you...  
  
Magic: Okay, then Madam can dissapear! *Makes her go away, cuz she's bored with her random robot* I WILL JUDGE! AND MAGICALLY CREATE THE ROBOTS!  
  
Malon: *Blinks, then walks over to Magic* Can we tell you what we want?  
  
Konitsu: And I shall abuse my power as umpire and kill you all! *gets glared at* Okay, just injure for now.  
  
Marin: Can I have a wind-fish? Even though -somebody- had to go and wake it up and kill everyone... *glares pointedly at Link*  
  
Link: -Look- I -said- I was -sorry-, OKAY!?  
  
Magic: *Sigh* Alright CHILDREN...Who's first?  
  
Konitsu: Lover's tiff *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*  
  
Marin: I want a wind-fish, please.   
  
Link: *Bops Konitsu with an inflatible sword*  
  
Magic: OKAY! *Raises her hands and a dark cloud appears overhead, mist covers Magic until it clears revealing a giant whale-fish thing with wings.* NEXT!  
  
Nabooru: I want... A DUCK!  
  
*Everyone stares a Nabooru in disbelief, crickets chirp in the backround*  
  
Magic: YAAAAAY! *Does the same thing, a rubber ducky appears and Nabooru is delighted*  
  
Konitsu: When good people go insane, and we like it! ^_^ Next on forcing Love.  
  
Link: Your sad becuase you can't conjure things, aren't you?  
  
Konitsu: *Sticks her tongue out at Link*  
  
Malon: I WANT SOMETHING WITH THE ALMIGHTY POWERS OF 11 GODDESSES! MAKE ME SOMETHING SO TERRIFYING THAT EVERYONE WILL WET THEIR PANTS!  
  
Link: o.0 okay, Malon had a labotamy.  
  
Konitsu: Dude, your sixth girlfriend scares me.  
  
Link: I have six of them?  
  
Konitsu: More.  
  
Magic: Aww, it's ok, you kill things! ANYWAY, ok Malon, here I go... *Does the same thing again, and when the mist clears, there stands a GREAT, POWERFUL..... COW!*  
  
Link and Konitsu: DA HELL!?  
  
Malon: WHY ME?  
  
Magic: It's sacrid in India, AND HOLDS THE POWER TO SUPPLY MILK!  
  
Konitsu: Resisting the urge to comment about McDonalds and Moo...  
  
Link: Please, go right ahead.  
  
Magic: I think I did very well....  
  
Konitsu: Ya, its sacride in McDonalds too. MMOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Malon: I'm... surrounded.... by.... idiots.....  
  
Konitsu: I resemble that remark!  
  
Link: Ya sure do!  
  
Konitsu: *bops Link with an inflatibal mace*  
  
Magic: I could make it a BUNNY! Want that? Ok, anyway, GET IN YOUR ROBOTS OF DOOM!  
  
Konitsu: BUNNIES! EVIL! Wait, aren't these remote controlled? SCREW THIS!! *sir kill-a-lot dissapears and Konitsu leans back in her chair to watch*  
  
*All of the contestants climb in and start their engines, so to speak*  
  
Magic: It's more fun when they hurt EACH OTHER!  
  
Konitsu: Last women standing isn't a canidate! ON YOUR MARKS! GET SET! KILL!  
  
Malon: *From inside robot* Please god, let this cow save me...  
  
Konitsu: You...are...pathetic!  
  
Magic: COME ON! I WANNA SEE SOME PAIN!  
  
*Marin is flying around in her snirfty little fish thingy, firing off blasts of dark energy ala a few of the bosses. She also has a a big pointy stick that shes poking them with. In English: She's kicking ass.*  
  
Konitsu: And Marin is taking a strong lead here, but Nabooru and her steel plated duck are putting up a good defence, it might be hard to take her down! But...Malon's running into a little trouble!  
  
Magic: And yes she is konitsu, it appears her cow refuses to move!  
  
*In fact, Malon's cow won't move. It's just standing there, attempting to eat the stage...just...standing there.*  
  
Link: *dead pan* Deal Goddesses the drama. I can barely contain my excitment. Joy.  
  
Magic24: YAYYYYY!  
  
Konitsu: Shuddap. But this might turn out to be an unexcitedly short battle here as...ooohhh. Malon has taken a blow from the duck!   
  
*Croud lets out 'OHHH!' as Malon's cow wobbles*  
  
*Nabooru's duck has revealed little buzz saws on the ends of its wings, cutting off Malon's cows feet*  
  
Magic: KILL THE COW!  
  
Malon: YYYYYAAAAHHHH HELPPPP!  
  
Konitsu: And...and, its the end of Malon for this fight folks, its just between the two aquatic-birds of the sky here ladies and gents!  
  
Magic: *singing* Rubber ducky, your the one for me!  
  
Link: I have the strange feeling we should sensor this scene for the greater good.  
  
Konitsu: *covers microphone she's been talking into* How many times do I have to tell you censorship is evil? *talks into microphone* And they're both taking hefty blows, but OH! the ducky takes a blow to the eye from the pokey stick and I swear I can smell those laser burnt-feathers from here. Marin's looking pretty triumphant, but ooooh! THAT'S -GOTTA- HURT!  
  
*Marin has taken a blow to one of her wings with the buzz saw blades, rendering her flightless and basically immobile, but she shoots freverently with the lasers*  
  
Magic: IT'S LIKE STAR WARS!  
  
Link: That's it, I -am- censoring this *puts hand over the camera*  
  
*black screen, Konitsu can be heard screaming random commentary and it finally ends...*  
  
Konitsu: DAMN! That's brutal, never expected her of that! And the funny freaky looking fish has finally won folks! The ducks brain is fried better than the stuff at the local Chinese resturant. *muffled* Link, you can take your hand off the camera now.  
  
*normal screen*  
  
Magic: THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!  
  
Link: That...was...NIFTY! *Everyone stares at him, he just points to Konistu.*  
  
Konitsu: Dude...nifty....ddduuuuuudddddeeee!  
  
*Marin climbs out of her fish triumphantly and Nabooru and Malon limp off stage, the stage is total carnage*  
  
Magic: We're gonna need some janitors...  
  
Malon: THE PAAAIIINNN! MAGIC, I'M GONNA GET YOU!  
  
Magic: What the hell did I do?  
  
Link: 0.0 I'm retiring, I can never wreak as much havoc as Marin just did.  
  
Konitsu: Link, no one's around to whine at you to save the world anymore, I don't think it matters. And no pain feeling for the hostesses.  
  
Marin: *curtsies* I'm just defending what is rightfully mine *winks at Link* Though, its not like I have a -home--town- to go to even if I do win.  
  
Link: I said I was sorry! STOP IT WITH THE GUILT TRIP ALREADY!  
  
Magic: Tsk tsk, will you two stop bickering?  
  
Konitsu: *smiles* Lover's tiff.  
  
Link: *Fwaps Konitsu*  
  
Konitsu: Must I defenscate you?  
  
Magic: *Blinks* Anyway, we have a winner!   
  
Konitsu: MARIN!   
  
Marin: *curtsies again, and waves polietly to Nabooru and Malon, who are sulking in a corner*  
  
Magic: And now the fans can vote off either Nabooru or Malon...  
  
Malon: I HATE THE WORLD! LINK IS MINE!  
  
Konitsu: But not Ruto, because she's dead. And can it.  
  
Link: Why do I feel like a piece of steak?  
  
Magic: Because that's what your are, my dear  
  
Link: A hunk o' meat for the fangirls.   
  
Magic: Tis' he is. Anyway, that's about it for our demented show!  
  
Konitsu: Glad you've realized the truth about the world, Link. BYE BYE EVERYBODY! *waves*  
  
Magic: BYE! COME READ NEXT CHAPTER FOR SPAM-NESS!  
  
Link: I...am...the spam...  
  
On: *Everybody* FORCING LOVE!  
  
Konitsu: *rolls eyes and pulls curtain shut, sounds of her defenscating Link can be heard in the backround*  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Defenscating=throwing out a window. Just in case you wanted to know what that meant, it's konitsu's little word. Anyway, WEEEE! Done with another chapter, and it's cool! Now we will have spam goodness in the next chapter, and it'll determine WHO RIGHTFULLY WINS LINK! WOOHOOOOOO! So stay in touch, and we'll keep ya posted! ~Magic24 


	5. The Dangers of Spam

A/N: Hey! Magic24/LostFairy24 here! HOLY CRAP I'M WRITING THE SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER AND IT TOOK ME 6 MONTHS! I regret to inform you that konitsu will not be joining me in hosting the show today, because she hasn't been on AOL for a while. But don't worry I will still try to be funny!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda. I wish I owned Link... I also don't own Wegmans, Barbie products, two chicken suits, two doctors outfits, a cut-out of konitsu, SPAM, or SPAM pamphlets! I own the game played in this chapter though because I thought of it all in my wittle brain with the help of konitsu!  
  
~Forcing Love~  
  
*Magic24 prances out happily with a blood red peasant top on and black skater pants. She is carrying a cut out of konitsu under her arm*  
  
Magic24: Look, I clash! *cough* Anyway I finally came back! It took me awhile though because uh... I'm lazy! And look I brought you a lovely konitsu cut-out!  
  
Konitsu cut-out (Magic is talking her): Hi I am konitsu!  
  
Magic24: *Looking very proud* Today is a very important day in our gameshow: Today is the final battle for Link!!! Feel the excitment!  
  
*Link, Malon, Marin and Nabooru file out onto the stage*  
  
Malon: AHHH! WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE THING? *pointing to konitsu's cut-out*  
  
Magic24: Shut up, konitsu can't be here today so I brought a cut-out of her!  
  
Link: Konitsu isn't here today?  
  
Magic24: Very good Linky-boy, you've learned to listen!  
  
Marin: So Magic is the only host today???  
  
Magic24: Yes, and you all will honor me! *cracks whip*  
  
Nabooru: I can take her, then we'd be free! *starts walking towards Magic*  
  
Magic24: *Screams like a girl* STAY BACK!  
  
Link: Look can we just get the show over with?  
  
Malon: No I want to see Nabooru and chicken-butt fight!  
  
Magic24: Oh you'll be sorry you said that! *Wind starts picking up and Magic likes pissed*  
  
Nabooru: Ok fine who's getting voted off?  
  
Marin: Not me I'm in the final round!  
  
*Magic runs and fetches konitsu's cut-out*  
  
Magic talking as konitsu: Can I have a drum-roll please???  
  
Everyone else: NO!  
  
Magic24: Ya know what you all suck! I was gonna add to the suspense but noooooooooooooo!  
  
Link: For the love of god Magic just get it over with!  
  
Magic24: Okay well it was between Malon and Nabooru the Queen of Evil.. And I counted votes and everything so weeeeeeee have a loseeeer!  
  
Marin: Magic you're scaring all of us please just say it...  
  
Magic24: Fine! Nabooru you lose, that means I get to cook your goose real good now!  
  
Nabooru: NOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD I LOSE?  
  
Magic24: HOW COULD YOU NOT?  
  
Link: She was too old for me anyway...  
  
Malon: I'M IN THE FINAL ROUND WOHOO!  
  
Nabooru: I won't let you "cook my goose" as you say it! I'll cook yours first!  
  
Magic24: Oh yeah!? Well I'm gonna cook your goose so good that the goose you wanted to cook won't be cooked first so my goose will go uncooked!  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
*Magic rolls her eyes as she waves her hands and vines come up from the ground and pin Nabooru down. Magic then gets more vines and a giant venus fly trap appears...*  
  
Nabooru: I don't understand, I should be able to break free!  
  
Magic24: I know isn't it ironic that -I- can kick yo booty?  
  
Link: Magic are you going to get Nabooru eaten?  
  
Magic24: Yes... but she'll be ok after 10 years of therapy!  
  
*The fly trap "roars" and then lunges at a now crying Nabooru. Marin covers her eyes and Link covers Malon's eyes and Magic covers the cut-out konitsu's eyes while Nabooru is being eaten. A loud slurp is heard and then the plant retreats into the ground.*  
  
Link: That sight will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life...  
  
Malon: But don't you kill things everyday?  
  
Link: Oh yeah.. then I guess it won't!  
  
Marin: I didn't dare watch!  
  
Magic24: That's too bad because that was the coolest crap I've ever done in my life!  
  
Malon: Now I'm afraid to know what the last contest is...  
  
Link: Didn't it involve spam?  
  
Marin: What is spam?  
  
Magic24: It's ham in a can silly goose!  
  
Malon: Are we going to have spam wrestling???  
  
Magic24: At this moment konitsu would have said, "WRESTLING? WOHOO!" but since she's not here I can just say no, we're not wrestling!  
  
Link: Then what in the name of fuzz are we doing?  
  
*Magic runs (while giggling like an idiot) to retrieve two chicken suits and two doctors outfits. She returns with a giant grin on her face*  
  
Malon: Oh my goddess...  
  
Marin: Please tell me I'm a doctor!!!  
  
Link: *counted 4 people* Two of us are going to be chickens and two of us are going to be doctors!  
  
Magic24: *gives lolli to Link* VERY GOOD!   
  
Malon: I'm a doctor right? And what does this have to do with spam???  
  
Magic24: Stop asking questions I'll explain it in time! Now this is a very high-intensity game only to be played by the most intelligent and toughest souls... But I ended up with you guys so I guess you'll have to do!  
  
Link: Thanks a lot...  
  
*Magic prances over to Malon and Marin and hands them the chicken suits. She directs them to the changing booths in the middle of a field. (She thought it would be funnier to see them walking towards Link and her in chicken suits from far away). She and Link put on the doctors' outfits in their own private changing rooms and came out long before Malon and Marin were done*  
  
Link: Why am I in this? Isn't this supposed to be only for the contestants?  
  
Magic24: You and I play an important and vital role today! WE CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE OF SPAM!  
  
Link: How?  
  
Magic24: You'll see...  
  
*Just then Malon and Marin walk out of their booths in chicken suits. They look big and yellow and it's just too funny to describe right now... Just imagine them in chicken suits and improvise from there. Hey add a chicken dance too!*  
  
Link and Magic24: *Rolling on the ground* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!  
  
Malon and Marin: SHUT UP!  
  
Magic24: Man this is going to be so sweet!  
  
Marin: I feel like a giant cucco on steroids...  
  
Link: *Whiping tears from his eyes* You guys look so ridiculous!  
  
Malon: I wouldn't talk Dr. Link!  
  
Magic24: *Still laughing* Okay guys let's all get into the "Forcing Love: The Gameshow" mobile and roll!  
  
Marin: Wait you're taking us somewhere?  
  
Link: I thought they weren't supposed to leave!  
  
Magic24: Ah, but they're in chicken suits!  
  
Malon: ..... so?  
  
Magic24: The chicken suits are programmed to shock them if they leave the area I'm taking them!  
  
Marin: We're not dogs!  
  
Link: No, you're chickens!  
  
*Link and Magic crack up*  
  
Marin: CAN WE GET THIS OVER WITH?  
  
Magic24: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!  
  
*You know those battery powered cars three year olds play in? Well Magic got a life-sized one that fits 4 people. (It's actually a Barbie Jeep...)*  
  
Malon: -This- is your "Forcing Love: The Gameshow" mobile?  
  
Magic24: Yes!  
  
Link: It's a battery-powered toy!  
  
Magic24: SO SUE ME I CAN'T DRIVE YET!  
  
Marin: Don't you think people are gonna think something's up when two doctors and two chickens come riding into town in a life-size Barbie Jeep???  
  
Magic24: ....... NO!  
  
Malon: *sigh*  
  
*Magic is at the wheel with Link beside her. The Jeep putts along until they reach the Magically Created Hyrule Marketplace. Everyone there (And there is quite a few) Looks at them like they're from a mental institution. Magic leads all of them to a huge food store (Like Wegmans) that's indoors and stops where they keep the carts*  
  
Link: I didn't know Hyrule had this!  
  
Magic24: They don't, I used magic!  
  
Malon: Are we even in Hyrule?  
  
Magic24: Yes!  
  
Marin: Really?  
  
Magic24: No...  
  
Link: Alright so what now?  
  
Magic24: As you all know, you guys are in chicken suits and Link and I are in doctors' outfits...  
  
All: DUR!  
  
Magic24: SHUT UP! Anyways here is the objective: The people in chicken suits (Malon and Marin) must sell spam to as many people as possible...  
  
Marin: Wait wait wait... Why are we in chicken suits if we're selling SPAM?  
  
Magic24: DON'T QUESTION MY GENIUS!  
  
Malon: Ok oh brilliant one, I don't think many people will buy spam...  
  
Magic24: Exactly. That means you guys have to lie like say it makes your hair grow or makes you lose weight and crud like that!  
  
Link: That's false advertising!  
  
Magic24: So, I'm not the one doing it! Anyway... Link and I are dressed as doctors because we're going to go around the store handing out pamphlets to people on the dangers of spam!  
  
Malon: Is spam dangerous?  
  
Magic24: The spam you're selling is!  
  
Marin: YOU POISENED IT???  
  
Magic24: NO! I'm just saying that to get people not to buy it!  
  
Link: So where are the pamphlets?  
  
Magic24: The konitsu cut-out brought them over!  
  
Marin: Uh... she's not real though...  
  
*Just then 100 pamphlets are thrown out of nowhere towards Link and Magic*  
  
Magic24: Are you going to keep questioning my genius or are you good?  
  
Marin: I'm good...  
  
*The four walk into the store and begin the contest. We will now be focused on Link and Magic for a portion of the show, then switch to Marin and Malon, then back again and so on...*  
  
Magic24: Link, you will be my pamphlet boy. We must improvise to make people not buy spam, which means we must not get preoccupied!  
  
Link: *Looking at a girl* What?  
  
Magic24: *Hits Link*  
  
Link: Maybe we should go talk to her about spam!  
  
Magic24: No we need to get gullable people, not teeny-boppers!  
  
Link: Fine...  
  
*Meanwhile...*  
  
Marin: Magic has really done it...  
  
Malon: I know! And she hasn't even told us how we'll win!  
  
Marin: So we're doing this for her amusment?  
  
*On loudspeaker* ATTENTION CHICKEN SUITED PEOPLE! TO WIN THE GAME YOU MUST SELL THE MOST SPAM! THAT IS ALL!  
  
Malon: HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE???  
  
*Loudspeaker again* ATTENTION CHICKEN SUITED PEOPLE ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS! YOU HAVE ONE HOUR! NOW GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT IS ALL!  
  
Marin: *Running off* Spam is healthy! EAT IT AND YOU WILL BECOME PRESIDENT!  
  
Malon: *Runs in opposite direction* SPAM CAN STOP THE AGING PROCESS!!!  
  
*Back with Magic and Link*  
  
Magic24: *Talking with a man* And if you eat any kind of spam all your hair will fall out!  
  
Link: *Handing out pamphlets to people* DANGEROUS SPAM!  
  
Man: But these girls said I'll live forever!  
  
Magic24: Were they in chicken suits?   
  
Man: Yes!  
  
Magic24: THEY'RE LYING! THEY WANT YOU TO GO BALD!  
  
*MEANWHILE*  
  
Marin: *Has just sold three spams and is feeling dandy* If you buy spam from me I'll cluck like a chicken!  
  
Malon *Has only sold one* Buy spam it'll cure the common cold!  
  
The Man Magic just talked to is now talking to Marin: I want a refund!  
  
Marin: Why sir?  
  
Man: Cuz those doctors told me that I'll lose my hair if I eat it!  
  
Marin: Rrrrrrrrr..... Fine give me the spam back!  
  
Man: What about my money!  
  
Marin: *Throws 2 bucks at the guy*  
  
*MAGIC AND LINK TIME*  
  
Magic24: *A huge crowd has gathered around her* AND IF YOU DON'T BUY SPAM I WILL GIVE YOU A STICK OF GUM AND FREE TICKETS TO MY SHOW!  
  
*Crowd cheers*  
  
Link: *Handing out pamphlets* I'm a doctor!  
  
Magic24: AND FOR ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, LINKY-BOY WILL BUY YOU A FLOWER!  
  
*Girls swoon*  
  
Link: Wait, I thought I was only a pamphlet guy!  
  
*MARIN AND MALON*  
  
Malon (Has met up with Marin): Magic is making everyone turn against us!  
  
Marin: Everyone I sold spam to has given it back!  
  
Malon: LET'S TURN AGAINST HER!  
  
Marin: *Shouting* YA KNOW THAT DOCTOR? SHE'S A QUACK! SHE'S NOT REALLY A DOCTOR!  
  
*Loudspeaker* AND YOU'RE NOT REALLY A CHICKEN! THAT IS ALL!  
  
*Magic and Link*  
  
Magic24: We must take drastic action...  
  
Link: Magic you do realize all that's written on your pamphlets is, "SPAM IS BAD!"  
  
Magic24: SO?   
  
Link: *Stands up on a random well-placed table* Listen the two chicken suited ladies have poisen spam!  
  
*GASPS*  
  
Magic24: *whispering* You do realize that they have to actually SELL SPAM???  
  
*Meanwhile!!!*  
  
Malon: Spam for sale! Only a quarter! Buy my spam and I'll give you a biiiiiiiiiig chicken hug!  
  
Marin: If you buy spam from me I'll give you two chicken hugs!  
  
Malon: *sits down* This is useless...  
  
Marin: Yeah let's just give up, we haven't sold anything and the stuff we have sold people gave it back!  
  
*LOUDSPEAKER* TIME IS UP FOOOOOOOOOOOOL! THAT IS ALL!  
  
*Magic arrives at the spot she last saw Marin and Malon, but she can't find them anywhere*  
  
Link: You lost our chicken girls!  
  
Magic24: Relax it can't be that hard to find two chickens in a store!  
  
*The show cuts out to a secret room (Ok it's the freezer) where you see the back of a chicken suit. A person is standing in front of the chicken and he or she speaks*  
  
Mysterious Person: I'll buy 20 spams!  
  
Chicken: What?  
  
Mysterious Person: I've watched the show. I know who you are, and I want you to win!  
  
*Cut back to Magic and Link*  
  
Magic24: Link this sucks.  
  
Link: Yeah, this outfit really itches!  
  
Magic24: NOT THAT!  
  
Link: Oh yeah... well they'll show up someday...  
  
Magic24: THIS IS A SHOW, WE DON'T HAVE SOMEDAY!  
  
*Marin and Malon walk in calmly and follow Magic to the Barbie Jeep*  
  
Link: So how much did you guys sell?  
  
Magic24: WAIT DON'T TELL, IT'S A CLIFFHANGER EPISODE!  
  
Marin and Malon: WHAT?  
  
Magic24: Don't tell cuz our fans need to stay tuned for the date portion in the next chapter!  
  
Link: You're actually going to go on the date with us Magic?  
  
Magic24: YES!  
  
All: *SIGH*  
  
Magic24: Now one lucky reviewer gets to be in the next episode! They will be the mysterious person! WOW HOW EXCITING! So you guys really need to review!  
  
Link: Magic you're bringing more people into the show?  
  
Magic24: YES! Anyway that's all on your favorite Gameshow with people selling spam in chicken suits!  
  
All: FORCING LOVE!  
  
*The curtains close and you hear many angry Hyrulians screaming at Magic and the two chicken ladies for false advertising... TEACH THEM TO DO THAT!*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: GUESS WHAT! YOU GUYS GET TO VOTE AGAIN! And one of ya will be in the next show! Ha how'd ya like that? A cliffhanger! Didn't think I could pull it off did ya? I apologize if this chapter isn't the normal funny you were expecting, there is no konitsu... It's very sad... I also apologize for the whole false-advertising thingy, HOW ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO SELL SPAM? Anyway, please review and vote and the last chapter will be up shortly... I PROMISE! 


	6. FINALE!

A/N: Ahem, I am proud to present the LAST REAL CHAPTER OF FORCING LOVE: THE GAMESHOW! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Anywho, after this there'll be a "What if?" chapter showing all Link's dates with all the other girls. See, you all shall be happy! Konitsu isn't with me again, but shed not one tear, because I AM HERE! Let's begin this sucker!  
  
Disclaimer: Well well well, here we go again... I don't own anything Zelda, I don't own Cheesies OR Fritos! I don't own ANYTHING except the concept of the scary Ugly Old Pasta Guy, whom you'll see later... buh bye!  
  
~~Forcing Love: The Gameshow~~  
  
*You see the stage decorated in gold and silver balloons. Magic walks out in a black shirt and a black skirt. Her hair is in pigtails, though you honestly don't care. Oh yeah, she has the konitsu cut-out again....*  
  
Magic24: And you thought you'd never see THIS face again! *Smiles*  
  
(Talking Konitsu cut-out): Hello! This is the dating portion of the show! WEEEE!  
  
Magic24: Yes before we bring out the remaining people (There aren't many so..) we shall recap ALL THE EPISODES FOR YOU PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO CAN'T REMEMBER, and I even hosted it!  
  
*A random stage hand comes out and hands Magic a piece of paper*  
  
Magic24: *Reading from paper* Lemme see the first show Konitsu and I subjected the poor souls to potatoe wrestling, a favorite pastime of our hick-town!   
  
*Audience oooh's and aaah's*  
  
Magic24: YES I KNOW! Next, there was the Mountain Dew chapter, in which I believe Zelda was booted at the beginning, and at the end it was between Saria and Nabooru.  
  
*Audience oooh's again*  
  
Magic24: ..... YES! And who can forget the famous piggy racing show? THAT WAS THE BEST! In the beginning uh... *Looks at paper* Saria, yes Saria got booted. And do we know WHY she was booted? Well it's cuz you voted her off! At the end it was between Ruto and Nabooru.  
  
*Audience oooh's and aaah's*  
  
Magic24: Ok now it's just annoying, please stop!  
  
*Audience stops*  
  
Magic24: OK! Next show featured ROBOT WARZZZZZZZZZZZ-ZAH! And in the beginning who could forget the tragic fate of Ruto? May she rest in pieces... At the end it was between Nabooru and... *Looks at paper again* Malon! Gee, Nabooru's been voted a lot! Has she won even once? I feel kinda sad...  
  
*Audience awwwww's*  
  
Magic24: .... shut... up... *blinks* Anywho, the last show until now was the spam selling episode. Nabooru was kicked and Malon and Marin were left. So now we've recapped, let's carry on...  
  
*Link, Malon, and Marin file out looking happy that the show is coming to a close*  
  
Link: WOHOO!  
  
Magic24: I know, you get to date a beautiful young woman tonight!  
  
Link: But you're coming with me!  
  
Magic24: I WAS TALKING ABOUT MYSELF!  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
*Magic scowls and pulls out the vote list*  
  
Marin: Magic are we done with the cliffhanger?  
  
Magic24: No of course not you silly billy!  
  
Malon: But isn't the random person's vote the only one that matters?  
  
Magic24: That's where my brilliance comes into play. You see, I count all the votes, and whoever had the most votes, I then choose a person who voted for the loser to get booted!  
  
Link: That actually makes sense.  
  
Magic24: HELL YEAH!  
  
Malon: Ok so who is it? Who won?  
  
*Magic wanders over to a stand and steps up. She clears her throat and looks very serious*  
  
Magic24: It was very close.... no it wasn't, I lie it wasn't close at all there was no line between who won or not, it's quite clear.  
  
Link: Ugh.. here we go...  
  
Magic24: *Tears up* This has been a strange and wonderful journey to our deepest emotional points and our highest peaks of happiness. I'd just like to say I LOVE YOU GUYS!  
  
Malon: Heh heh... that's nice...  
  
Magic24: Without further adue, let's go to the FREEZER ROOM TAPE!  
  
*Audience GASPS as the tape plays*  
  
Mysterious person: I'll buy 20 spams!  
  
Chicken: What?  
  
Mysterious person: I've watched the show, I know who you are, and I want you to win!  
  
Chicken: Well THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! *Looks at person* Hey I know you, you're a reviewer!  
  
Person: Yup, I'm so special!  
  
Chicken: So how'd Magic convince you to get on this crap-hole show, Genichiro Tsukiomi?  
  
Genichiro Tsukiomi: Hey! I like this show, MALON!  
  
Malon: *GASP* How'd you know it was me?  
  
Genichiro Tsukiomi: I'm psycic!  
  
*Tape ends*  
  
Magic24: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! WASN'T THAT GRAND????  
  
Malon: *In awe* I....... I WON???  
  
Marin: I LOST?  
  
Link: What just happened? I missed it...  
  
Magic24: We have picked a winner ladies and germs!  
  
*Audience is amazed*  
  
Malon: *Dancing* HOLY CRAP I WON!  
  
Marin: *Crying* No....  
  
Link: WHAT'S GOING ON???  
  
*Magic leads the people to a limo in which the cut-out konitsu is sitting in*  
  
Malon: I'M SO HAPPY!  
  
Magic24: Okay first off Malon you knew you won, you were THERE, remember? Second, Marin is helping me with the date, seeing as I get lonely talking to myself.  
  
Link: Wait... Malon won?  
  
Magic24: *Hits head*  
  
Malon: Ohhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeaaaaahhh... Wait why are you going on my date?  
  
Magic24: Because it's to a haunted house!  
  
Link and Malon: WHAT?  
  
Magic24: *Gets microphone* Thaaaaaaaaaaaaat's right! You lucky couple get to spend the night in a haunted house complete with ghosts and creepy music! I have picked it out from a variety of haunted houses and this one comes with a kitchen nook! A nook!  
  
Marin: *Goes white* You're making me stay in the haunted house?  
  
Magic24: Well.... yes, yes I think I am.  
  
Link: That's not a date that's hell! I mean with you, Malon, and Marin... I'm gonna be more scared of you guys than the house itself!  
  
Malon: Hey! I'm your date be nice!  
  
Magic24: *Walks real close to the camera so only the camera can hear her.* There is a secret room with chairs and TV's and monitors and spooky-making stuff to scare Link and Malon! Me and Marin just get to pig out and scare em' and laugh like we're insane clowns!  
  
Link: What?  
  
Magic24: NOTHING! NOW TURN YOUR HEAD I'M INDECENT!  
  
Everybody: OH GOD! *Turns away*  
  
Magic24: *Rolls eyes* Anywho, look I have a picture of the room! *Points to a picture of a small basement with monitors on one wall, two reclining chairs, and 100 bags of every kind of chip... sweet...*  
  
Marin: Are you decent yet?  
  
Magic24: I WAS NEVER INDECENT YOU BAFOON!  
  
Link: Well fine.  
  
Malon: Can I go to the stupid house yet?  
  
Magic24: Very well, but I must warn you... IT'S HAUNTED!  
  
Everybody: Well DUH!  
  
*Everybody gets into the limo with Konitsu-cut out driving it. They look sceptical as the limo drives away with Magic's head popped out of the window with her screaming WEEEEEEEEEEE down the road. They soon arrive at a bright pink house with yellow shutters that says "HAUNTED HOUSE" on it*  
  
Magic24: WE'RE HERE WE'RE HERE!  
  
Link: That's not a haunted house! That's a dollhouse!  
  
Malon: Come on Magic, where's the real house?  
  
Magic24: That IS the house you swine, now let's all go inside and get comfy before it gets all dark and scary and stuff.  
  
Marin: Magic, do I have to stay with you, I mean you scare me during the day but at night I'm afraid you'll dismember me in some way...  
  
Magic24: Shut your mouth and get your butt into the house.  
  
*They all go into the house and it's a huge mansion type thing with darkness and spooky music... like in the brochure!*  
  
Link: Where's the bedrooms?  
  
Magic24: You and Malon get to stay in the room of looooooooooooooove!  
  
Malon: Wo-hoo! Come on Link let's go!  
  
Link: Oh brother... *Gets pulled away upstairs*  
  
Marin: Where am I staying?  
  
Magic24: Come with me! *Leads Marin down into the small basement and puts a bag of cheese doodles into a cage.*  
  
Marin: OOH CHEESE DOODLES!  
  
Magic24: Yes, go after them!  
  
Marin: *Runs into cage and starts eating the cheese doodles*  
  
Magic24: *Shuts the door* MHUAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Marin: HEY! YOU PSYCO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! LET ME OUT!  
  
Magic24: *Runs upstairs, finds Malon and Link unpacking and shouts* THE HOUSE ATE MARIN!  
  
Link and Malon: Wha?  
  
Magic24: It's true! It gobbled her right up like a Goose on steroids! Like a duck on helium! Like a clown with-  
  
Link: Alright, where'd you put her?  
  
Magic24: *GASP* I did NOT put her anywhere! You know the "House on Haunted Hill" movie? It was like that with the dust and the spirits and the crazy doctors!  
  
Malon: That sounds horrible!  
  
Magic24: Yeah I know! I saw it, I'm emotionally scarred now!  
  
Link: Why don't all go to the living room and chat?  
  
Magic24: No, this is your date, why don't you and Malon go to the living room and "chat" while I go find myself a big fancy room that won't eat me...  
  
*Link and Malon go to the living room and Magic returns to her secret lair*  
  
Magic24: How are you, cheese doodle girl?  
  
Marin: I hate you.  
  
Magic24: Well you didn't just think I'd let you frolic free did you? Not when everybody else has to suffer!  
  
Marin:.... I still hate you.  
  
*Meanwhile in the living room*  
  
Malon: I'm so happy I won!  
  
Link: Yeh yeh me too... *Looks around* Do you know if Magic has the car keys or not?  
  
Malon: Now I get a whole night in a romantic pink house with my love!  
  
Link: Yup, lots of fun... Now about those car keys...  
  
Malon: KISS ME NOW! *Leaps towards Link*  
  
Link: GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*Secret Lair time!*  
  
Magic24: *Watching Link fight off Malon on the monitor* FUN!  
  
Marin: Link just asked where you had your keys  
  
Magic24: SHE ALMOST KISSED HIM!  
  
Marin: MAGIC DO YOU HAVE YOUR KEYS?  
  
Magic24: Oh don't worry the konitsu cut-out has em'.  
  
Marin: Where's she?  
  
Magic24: In the car, DUH! You didn't think I'd subject her to this scary house, did you?  
  
Marin: Magic, if Link gets the keys the shows over, kaput, he's gone!  
  
Magic24: *Takes a moment to think* Hmmmm... *Runs in a rolicing rage to the living room* AHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*In living room*  
  
Link: *Still pushing Malon off* GET OFF YOU FREAK!  
  
Malon: I LOVE YOU!!!  
  
Magic24: *Runs in screaming, and, is indeed, in a rolic* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Link: MAGIC HELP ME!  
  
Magic24: *Runs out to the car, retrives the keys, and runs back into the living room*  
  
Link: MAGIC!  
  
Magic24: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Runs out of room and into secret lair*  
  
Link: ..... That's it, it's hopeless.. I'm surrounded by complete monkey idiots...  
  
*In secret lair*  
  
Magic24: *Out of breath* I don't think they suspected anything...  
  
Marin: I could hear you down here you numbskull...  
  
Magic24: Oh... Well it's almost dinner time cheesy-puffy girl of fun, what do you say we go fix something?  
  
Marin: Great! I love to cook!  
  
Magic24: GREAT! Because when I said "We" I meant "You"  
  
*Living room AGAIN!*  
  
Link: Malon let's think about this!  
  
Malon: What's there to think about? I love you, you love me...  
  
Link: I never said I love you!  
  
Malon: You implied it!  
  
Link: NO I DIDN'T!!!  
  
*Magic and Marin enter and stop to talk*  
  
Magic24: Awwww, you're hugging!  
  
Link: No, she's attached herself onto my leg and won't let go...  
  
Marin: You guys hungry? We're going to go cook something...  
  
Link: *Leaps up and clings onto Marin and Magic for dear life* TAKE ME WITH YOU!  
  
Malon: I'll come too!  
  
Magic24: Link, as much as I love being glomped, you must go and unpack with your sweety-pie!  
  
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
*Magic and Marin go to the kitchen, Link is dragged to the bedroom with Malon let's look at kitchen, shall we?*  
  
Magic24: So whatcha going to cook, cheesey?  
  
Marin: I think I'll make spaghetti...  
  
Magic24: Ok fine... *Looks in cupboard for pasta* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Marin: What is it?  
  
Magic24: *points in cupboard* LOOOOOOOOOOOK!  
  
Marin: *Looks in* AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*Both run to find Link and Malon*  
  
Link: Malon, I need to unpack...  
  
Malon: *Latched onto Link* But why?  
  
Link: I find this very unattractive..  
  
Malon: *GASP*  
  
*Magic and Marin run in screaming*  
  
Magic24: WE DECIDED YOU GET NO DINNER!  
  
Link: Why? What happened?  
  
Marin: IT WAS A... IT WAS A...  
  
Magic24: IT WAS A HAUNTED BOX OF PASTA!  
  
Link: Oh brother...  
  
Malon: I'm sure that must be scary but...  
  
Magic24: Oh YEAH? When boxes of pasta start transforming into heads of really ugly old guys, you get scared!  
  
Malon: What?  
  
Marin: THE PASTA WAS TURNING INTO AN OLD UGLY GUY!  
  
Link: Ooooooookay...  
  
Magic24: Look, I think that me and Marin can go find some chips... if you guys go look at ugly pasta guy...  
  
Malon: DEAL! *Grabs Link and runs to the kitchen*  
  
*Magic and Marin return to secret lair and get chips... meanwhile*  
  
Link: I looked at the pasta, it was nothing, just old pasta.  
  
Malon: Maybe they thought it was ugly too and just added the man part...  
  
Link: *Looks in mirror* Malon you messed up my hair!  
  
Malon: It's cute!  
  
Link: REALLY? *Looks in mirror again but...*  
  
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*  
  
Malon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKK! *Runs away*  
  
Magic24: What's happening now?  
  
Malon: IT WAS THE UGLY OLD PASTA GUY! HE STOLE LINK!  
  
Marin: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?  
  
Magic24: Oh no, he did NOT just steal the star!  
  
Malon: HE DID BUT HE LEFT HIS HAT! *Holds up Link's hat*  
  
Marin: Oh god...  
  
Magic24: Ok well... why don't we just sit here and wait for a sign?  
  
Malon: Oh yeah let's just all wait for Ugly Old Pasta Guy to kill us all...  
  
Marin: I think we should stay together too...  
  
*Magic, Malon, and Marin have been sitting for half an hour and nothing's happened*  
  
Malon: *Sniffing Link's hat* Oh my love...  
  
Magic24: I swear if she smells his stinky green hat one more time...  
  
Marin: LOOK!  
  
*The walls start shaking and the lights flicker then switch off*  
  
Magic24: HOLY BE-JEZUS SCOOBY!  
  
Marin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Malon: *SNIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*  
  
*Lights go on and Marin's gone*  
  
Magic24: *Blinks* Marin? Maaaaaaaarin....  
  
Malon: First my love, now my twin? WILL IT NEVER END?  
  
Magic24: *Looks at Malon* I think you did something to them!  
  
Malon: WHAT?  
  
Magic24: You were alone with Link when he disappeared, and you've always hated Marin looking like you...  
  
Malon: You're accusing ME Mrs. Trigger-Happy?  
  
Magic24: *GASP* LOOK!  
  
*Link begins to stumble down the stairs, then falls on his face*  
  
Malon: MY LOVE! *Runs over and puts Link's hat on his head*  
  
Link: Ugghhhhh  
  
Magic24: Link are you ok? I mean a mirror ate you so you must be pretty beat up and...  
  
Link: *Stands up* I'm fine.  
  
Malon: Well what happened, I was worried!  
  
Link: *Looks at Malon* Let's go upstairs.  
  
Magic24: WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?  
  
Malon: OK! *Runs upstairs with Link*  
  
Magic24: *Sits and starts rocking back and forth* This is -so- not what I planned...  
  
*Half and hour later it's now dark and Magic is in her lair and Link and Malon -still- aren't downstairs*  
  
Magic24: *Singing* I'm a little teapot, short and stout...  
  
Marin: *Appears* Here is my handle here is my-  
  
Magic24: MARIN YOU'RE BACK! Thank goodness because Link came back and is all creepy and -likes- Malon and he like won't tell me what happened and I'm just so alone and scared and I wish Konitsu was here!  
  
Marin: Spout.  
  
Magic24: Yeah that's the end of the song but still there's trouble afoot Captain Cheese.  
  
Marin: *Pulls out gun* I am not Captain Cheese I am Sylvia.  
  
Magic24: *Stares at gun* Oooooooookay Sylvia where'd you get the gun? It's not loaded or anything.. right?  
  
Marin: It's loaded.  
  
Magic24: *Gulp* So uh... Sylvia... What do you want with me?  
  
Marin: Go to the attic.  
  
Magic24: But attic's are scary! I mean there's bats and spiders and old hippie clothes that smell and-  
  
Marin: *Shoves gun in Magic's eye* GO!  
  
*Magic rubs her eye and commences upstairs only to here Malon*  
  
Malon: Link that tickles!  
  
Magic24: *Whispering to Malon while Marin is a bit lost* MALON! MARIN SNAPPED HER LAST TWIG!  
  
Malon: MAGIC! NOT NOW!  
  
Link: *Appears out of door* Magic.. how nice to see you...  
  
Magic24: Yeah you too look Link.. if that IS your real name! Can I take Malon and uh... go get Fritos or something?  
  
Link: No.  
  
Magic24: Uh... kay... what are you doing in there...?  
  
Malon: Link wants me to call him a pet name! He wants me to call him Napoleon!  
  
Magic24: *Blinks* Malon, Link's possesed by the ugly pasta guy, please get out of there now...  
  
Malon: Don't be silly! Why just now he kissed me and said "Go to the attic."  
  
Magic24: MALON YOU SPRITELY MOOSE! GET YOUR BOOTY IN GEAR AND GO TO THE ATTIC WITH ME!  
  
Link: Yes... go to the attic with Magic... *Puts Malon in a trance and carries here towards the attic*  
  
Magic24: Never thought I'd see the day...  
  
*Now we are in the attic in front of an ugly dusty mirror shrouded in hippie designs...*  
  
Magic24: Ewwww hippie smell!  
  
Marin aka Sylvia: Shut up you stupid human!  
  
Magic24: *GASP* That was a bit harsh!  
  
Link aka Napoleon: Shut up! *Puts Malon down in front of mirror*  
  
Magic24: Oh no.. you're going to sacrifice me to your Ugly Pasta God aren't you?  
  
Marin: No you idiot, we're going to put the last and most powerful soul into you and then take over the world!  
  
Magic24:.... I get to be most powerful?  
  
Link: Yes, and I will do whatever you want...  
  
Magic24: Heh heh... that's intriguing...  
  
Marin: Yes all you have to do is walk into the mirror!  
  
Magic24: Oh alright! *Begins to walk...*  
  
Link: Yessssss!  
  
Magic24: *Stops* What're you going to do with Malon?  
  
Link: She will be my evil wife!  
  
Magic24: Well at least -she'll- be happy...  
  
Marin: *Blinks and shakes head* JUST GO!  
  
Magic24: Alright, alright! Jeez all these pasta ghosts need to loosen up... *Walks*  
  
Link: Just a bit farther...  
  
Magic24: *Stops, turns mysteriously* Just one more thing...  
  
Marin: Ug... YES?  
  
Magic24: HIIIIIIIIII-YAH! *Magic pulls out a bag of Cheesies from her pocket and begins to throw them at the evil pasta ghosts possesed people. They begin to shriek in terror and fall to the ground and soon you see Magic with a disgusted look on her face*  
  
Malon: *Wakes up* Am I married to Link yet? *Sees Link in a pile of Cheesies* OH NO!  
  
Magic24: I hate Cheesies, and by knowing they are evil I decided to fight evil with evil and chuck them at the pasta ghosts, rendering them helpless to the cheesie ways....  
  
Link: Ug.. *Rubs head* Where am I?  
  
Magic24: DOROTHY YOU'VE AWAKENED!  
  
Link: HUH?  
  
Malon: Link, my love! I knew you couldn't resist me! That kiss we shared will remain with me forever!  
  
Link: WHAT?  
  
Magic24: Link you were posses by Ugly Old Pasta Guy, also knows as Napoleon. He kinda had a thing for Malon so when he was in your body he uh...  
  
Link: *Looks at hands, then Malon, then Magic* IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS!  
  
Malon: Wait, that wasn't Link?  
  
Magic24: Nope... Oh wait *Pulls gun out of Marin's hands* She doesn't need this...  
  
Marin: *Wakes up* What a wonderful dream...  
  
Magic24: Toto save it for a rainy day let's get outta here...  
  
Marin: MAGIC HAS A GUN!  
  
*Magic makes everyone file into the limo and be driven to the show stage. When there, Link, Malon, Marin, and Magic all file onto the stage and look incredibly disgruntled.*  
  
Link: Is it over? Can I go wash myself yet?  
  
Magic24: Almost, I just need to say some stuff...  
  
Marin: *Rolls eyes*  
  
Malon: Here we go...  
  
Magic24: It was fun, goodbye...  
  
Link, Malon, and Marin: ... THAT'S IT?  
  
Magic24: Yeah.  
  
Link: But you're usually talking your mouth off saying stuff like "GOOSES ARE FUN!" or "I'M A SEXY WALRUS!"  
  
Magic24: So?  
  
Marin: Are you feeling okay? You want soup?  
  
Magic24: I'm fine! It's just it's quite apparant that this is the end and I hate goodbyes so I make it brief. It's that or have me cry all over the place!  
  
Malon: Magic, I know it's been a long journey, but we all must end it now.  
  
Magic24: Yeah, I didn't say we weren't ending it...  
  
Malon: Oh...  
  
Link: Magic, it has been kinda fun...  
  
Magic24: *GASP* LINK YOU LOVE ME!  
  
Link: WHAT?  
  
Marin: Yeah, it has been kinda fun in a demented way...  
  
Magic24: *Tears up* Oh.. I feel loved...  
  
Malon: Well you're all nuts I didn't enjoy myself at all...  
  
Link: *Hugs Malon* Yes you did...  
  
Malon: *GASP* SWOON!  
  
Magic24: GROUP HUG!  
  
*Everyone hesitates, then hugs Magic for the finale of the show*  
  
Magic24: Oh... I AM -SO- LOVED! *Brings out the Konitsu cut-out*  
  
Konitsu cut-out: It's time to end this sucker!  
  
Malon: I WON! I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I WON!  
  
Marin: I was possessed! WOHOO!  
  
Magic24: And you both were chickens at one point in time! HOW WEIRD!  
  
Link: Haha, and I'm the stud who got to watch every step of the way and not do anything! FOR ONCE!  
  
Magic24: Well it's time to go, but -I'll- be back for a "What if Episode"   
  
Link: That should be fun...  
  
Magic24: YES! Anywho, I hope you liked the gameshow, and hey, you never know... Maybe there's a "Forcing Love: The Gameshow PART DOS!" in the future!  
  
Malon: PLEASE NO!  
  
Magic24: But for now, we must part. I love you all, and GOODNIGHT!  
  
Everyone: ON FORCING LOVE: THE GAMESHOW!  
  
*Curtains close and roses are thrown. Aw, how pretty...*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: OMG OMG OMG I'M SOOOOOOOOO DONE! I creeped myself out on this chapter I think I shouldn't deal with haunted houses anymore. Well I hope you guys liked it, I know I took my sweet sweet time on this... (Like a year or so...) But that's not the point! The point is it's done when I never thought I'd finish it! The point is I worked my booty off until it hurt on this and feel proud! FEEL THE PRIDE! *Runs around hugging everyone* Can you feel it? Well even if you can't... Oh and the special guest was Genichiro Tsukiomi because he's a fan and he's special so ADORE HIM! If this show offended you in any way I am sorry, I can be crude at times... But moving on, I hope you review it's the FINALE AFTER ALL! 


End file.
